what are the chances?
making our own dumb luck + a beautiful memoir ++ a chance to write together +++ yellow!
Bonjour-Bonjour,
How did that photo even happen? And why did it delight me?
I noticed the woman’s bow in a gallery at Musée D’Orsay, and I followed her, camera at the ready because I wanted to snap a photo of that beautiful red… and then… look where she paused! The funny thing is, she barely stopped! I don’t even know if she regestered the coincidence.
Serendipity: the art of discovering something valuable that we did not expect. Of course it’s part magic. But I believe we can cultivate magic in our lives if we practice wondering (and wandering), noticing, connecting.
Don’t you love stumbling upon something wonderful that in the moment has particular meaning for you? It lights up your brain and your body, yes? These moments aren’t only dumb luck—they’re examples of serendipity, one of life’s most delightful phenomena. While serendipity might feel like a gift from the universe, we can cultivate more in our daily lives.
Prepared mind + porous awareness + fortuitous circumstances = serendipity!
✨Prepared mind:
nurture your desire to learn and explore - be curious (like Mary Roy in the memoir below, but w/o the tantrums).
be available to new ideas and perspectives - be open minded and expose yourself!
expect positive outcomes (within reason…) which enhances perception of opportunities - be optimistic
✨Porous awareness:
live in the moment to notice subtleties and signals in the world around you, become skilled in the art of noticing - be mindful and mindless - that is, let your mind go a little blank so your subconscious can take the wheel for a minute
engage in activities outside your usual routine - expand your borders
concentrate on what others say to catch hidden opportunities - connect
✨fortuitous circumstances:
put yourself in the path of serendipity, it isn’t just chance, we have to recognize opportunities… there’s an element of human agency in this moments of connection and frisson, they aren’t just dumb luck.
cultivate a number of hobbies/interest in diverse things to cultivate opportunities for weird and magical connections.
gift yourself some empty space, that is, toss your schedule out the window a bit everyday, give chance a good chance to happen
My wish for us all is to relish the serendipity in our lives. Notice it. Thrill in it. Cultivate it. And, please do share! I love to hear these stories:
read:
I’ve been a bit of a flâneuse, roaming small streets of Paris and listening to Arundhati Roy narrate her rich and powerful memoir, MOTHER MARY COMES TO ME.
Roy writes of an incredibly complicated woman, her mother, who demands her children call her Mrs. Roy, and who Arundhati Roy alternately calls ‘her gangster,’ and ‘her banker.’ Let me be clear, her mother is a monster who throws dishes, pitches insults, punishes with violence, has a quicksilver temper, and is an incredibly brilliant matriarch of a school in India who, according to Arundhati, "…loved herself. Everything about herself. I loved that about her.”
Arundhati fled her mother at 16 and went no contact for 7 years. During that time she ‘lived on air.’ She put herself through architecture school, fell in love with a man she calls JC, and fashioned an existence around The Beatles, Janis Joplin, and The Rolling Stones.
But Arundhati had fierce love for Mrs. Roy, and ultimately could not quit her. This is such an enduring question, how do we quit our monsters? Can we? For Arundhati the answer is no. When she and Mrs. Roy reconnect, her mother shows up with a typewriter.
Standing at my door, she said, “I thought I’d never see you again.” She had brought me my old typewriter, the one I had learned to type on. That further broke my already broken heart. This was the power she had always had over me. She could break my heart and mend it too. With a snap of her fingers. I wanted to kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. But I didn’t. I just said, “Thank you.” I meant thank you for knowing your daughter has a writer’s heart.
What did Arundhati Roy inherit from the carbolic-love she shared with her mother? Endurance. Agility. Hunger for learning. Independence hard born from the self-doubt her mother instilled in her. Arundhati says of her mother, “Until the day she died, she never stopped learning, never stagnated, never feared change, never lost her curiosity.” Certainly qualities we all want to embrace.
Mrs. Roy rises from these pages fully formed and I will not soon forget her.
…
Roaming the galleries at the Musée D’Orsay, I paused at this painting. It brought to mind for me this passage from MOTHER MARY COMES TO ME:
We passed a buffalo cart with a lantern tied behind it for a taillight. The driver of the cart was lying on his back, singing to the stars, confident that his buffalo would take him home. I remember feeling jealous of him. I remember thinking that no matter how long and hard we fought, in India no woman of any religion, class, caste or creed would ever feel safe enough to sing to the stars on a lonely highway while her buffalo took her home.
I don’t think I would feel safe alone in the buffalo cart, nor on this lake. The painting and the passage filled me with a bit of melancholy, a bit of yearning.
If you’d like to discuss books with me and a group of smart and lively readers, the r.w.e. book group selection for March is THE SPARE ROOM, by Helen Garner. We meet Sunday, 15 March, at 9a pacific time on zoom.
BUCKEYE, by Patrick Ryan, will be our April book group book, and Patrick will be joining in our conversation! I can tell you he is a wonderful writer, excellent editor, and all around good egg! Want to join us? The book group is a perk for paid subscribers. I’d love to get to know you better:
I listened to Patti Smith’s new memoir, BREAD OF ANGELS, which she narrates and, no surprise, she has a wonderful voice, but also a quirky accent that is a pleasure. BREAD OF ANGELS will be our March book for the Mentor Book Group— in which we read memoirs, personal growth books and discuss what we might adopt in our own “work-in-progress” lives. Love to have you join in:
I’ve made a read.write.eat. Bookshop where you will find many of the books I’ve recommended. Buying books from my shop is another way you can support my newsletter.
write:
There is something beautiful that happens in a room (yes, even a virtual room) when people write together. As the timer ticks, writers soften, words flow a bit more freely, thoughts coalesce and something is discovered. Is this serendipity? Yes, but it’s cultivated by us. We have made the choice to come together with creative intentions. Sometimes a prompt is the exact right dumb luck to open a door into what we need to say, in our stories, in our memoirs. Sometimes a prompt reminds us of something we’ve been needing to say. I spoke about desire paths as a way to deepen our writing:
I invite you to join us for 90 minutes of writing and community (It’s filling up, so please hop on, I’d love to get to know you better).
We begin with a short writing sample from the world to ground us in language and to inspire us.
We write to very open ended prompts to generate new work or to use as a new door into your writing project.
We share writing (if you feel comfortable).
We close with promises and plans to keep writing, to keep establishing our desire paths.
Sounds perfect, right?
…
Here’s the details:
what: Desire Path Writing Meet-Up
when: Saturday, 7 March, 9a-10:30 PST/12p-1:30 EST
where: zoom
who: you! writers of all levels
cost: 25.00
Sign up by replying to this email or messaging me here:
eat:
The mimosa is in bloom and the slick grey sidewalks of rainy Paris are lit up by blowzy bouquets, louche and attractive as a beautiful woman who perhaps partied a little too much last night. Which came first? The mimosa or this trés mignon casserole which caught my eye at E. Dehillerin, a dusty and magnificent kitchen shop.
In full serendipitous fashion—all this yellow, the font at the shop, the fleurs, the casserole, got me to thinking of a writing prompt about favorite colors and how as a tiny girl I tried hard to deny my favorite color - yes, yellow - and chose green, my mother’s favorite. I unabashedly adored her and wanted to be mini-her. Oh the ways we can all erase ourselves for devotion! For our parents when we are children, for our lovers when we are adults, for our children when we are parents. I wonder about your favorite color… what made you choose… has it changed?
…
But here we are in the eat section and so, a casserole I want to make ASAP in my new yellow baking dish when I’m back in my own kitchen.
Cheesy Gnocchi With Corn and Pesto
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1lb shelf-stable gnocchi
About 3c fresh or frozen corn kernels
1/2c pesto, plus more for passing at the table. Of course you can buy it at the market, or make it yourself if it’s summer and you have abundant basil. Or, better yet, fool around and use a bunch of fresh herbs, about 3.5 - 4 cups:
mint leaves, parsley, basil, chives, oregano, arugula
1/2 cup walnuts, lightly toasted
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest, plus 1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
freshly ground black pepper
Combine herbs in a food processor or blender and process until finely chopped. Add walnuts, garlic, Parm, and lemon zest and pulse to combine. With machine running, add oil in a steady stream. Add lemon juice, salt, and pepper, and pulse to combine.
Salt and pepper
8 oz grated whole-milk, low-moisture mozzarella, or perhaps mix in a bit of a nice sharp cheddar
In a 12-inch cast iron skillet over med-high heat, heat the oil until sizzling hot, about 2 minutes. Add the gnocchi and sear, undisturbed, for 4 minutes, until crispy underneath.
Add the corn and cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 minutes, until softened. Remove from the heat.
Stir in the pesto. Season with salt as needed, and add a few grinds of black pepper.
(Scoop the mixture into your beautiful new yellow casserole!) or keep it in the skillet and place an oven rack underneath the broiler. Set the broiler to high.
Top the gnocchi and corn with the cheese. Place the casserold underneath the broiler and broil for about 3 minutes, until the cheese is completely melted and slightly burnt on top.
Top with more pesto. Bring the casserole to the table so everyone can ooh and ahh! Then and divide among bowls.
I hope your day is full of serendipity!
If you find yourself regularly reading and enjoying my work and you’d like to show some thanks, you can do so with this charming button:
If you aren’t ready to hop on, yet you wish to send a little love my way:
Happy Lunar New Year! I share with you this message from An Hao Natural Healthcare Clinic.
2026 brings the Fire Horse—a rare 60-year cycle that combines the Horse's independent, freedom-loving spirit with Fire's intense, passionate energy. This is a yang year, and we are called to the shift from stillness to action.
After months of introspection, the Fire Horse asks you to take all that internal work and run with it. This is a year for:
✨ Bold action and forward momentum
✨ Following your passions without hesitation
✨ Expressing yourself authentically
✨ Taking risks and embracing change
✨ Moving toward freedom and independence
And yet: Think before you act. Move fast, but move smart.
…
Thanks for being here with me. Thank you for sharing my newsletter with your funny and fun friends.
Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!
Merci,
PS:
In case you missed it, here are a couple missives from our time here in France.
And, to stay in the loop:
It was great to read your post today. Serendipity. My adult daughter and I had been staying with an old friend of mine. Turned out very badly with the town house owner acts meek/mild 70 year old. Sometimes it better to live in a studio. Anything is better than living with someone where there was chaos. I rather live by myself or a stranger.
I love this--the photo and your advice, Natalie!