I am crying and I'm so happy...

last week was a garbage heap + stories of kindness (+ marching orders from me to me)

Bonjour-Bonjour,

The news is killing us. Our own government is killing us. And my god, would you look at those flowers? Would you look at the massive numbers of people turning out in protest? Would you look at this smart and witty thing from Jason Thompson:

…which makes me think of this cover of the pre-Civil War Spiritual from Prince.

Sometimes the pain and the beauty (the rats and pavlova) overwhelm. Here are three stories of kindness.

First:

I’ve been taking pilates here in Nice, in French, and it’s damn hard. I don’t understand most of what’s said. I can’t keep my back on the carriage (if you know you know), and while the women are not unkind, they are also not particularly friendly. There’s a sign on the door that says something like, if you’re late, don’t bother. The other night a timid young woman arrived late and knocked, “desolée, desolée,” she apologized. The teacher took the woman’s hands in hers and rubbed them, strong and long. “Il fait froid,” she said. It was a tiny gesture of connection, caring, and intimacy. The young woman relaxed immediately.

Next:

We took a day trip to Ventimigli, Italy, last weekend, and yes there was a grève, but the strike was in Italy, not France. We trained to the border and then loaded onto a bus. The day was a lovely adventure with our new friends from French school. We devoured pizza in a tiny alley, traipsed up a gazillion steps, found a crocheted baby Jesus in a creche… yup, still up.

Ventimiglia, Italy

Also, we stumbled upon a tiny passage that literally looked like a set for an opera and had us belting out songs from the musical, OLIVER.

Can’t you see street urchins popping out their heads?

Yes, we had to bus back over the border to France. After driving too and fro all day the bus driver was in a horrible mood. She stomped off the bus in her skewed jacket to have a cigarette. All us riders were confused. Where to buy a ticket? What time would the bus leave? It was a salad of languages… Italian, French, English. I approached the bus driver, desolée-ing all over the place, and no, she didn’t rub my hands nor I hers. I asked about cost of tickets (gratuit) and when she would leave (dix minutes) she curtly responded. And then I asked if I could buy her a coffee. Her mood immediately changed. She smiled, “Vous êtes trés gentil,” she told me. I was offering a tiny kindness. But the best part, when I turned around, the people in line (all of whom were a bit afraid of her) gave me a thumbs up as if I’d done the most genius of things! I tamed the beast by connecting with the offer of coffee.

Finally:

On the train back to Nice, I was harassed by a band of teenage boys. They’d sort of conered me in a foursome of seats. Joel, Stanley, and our friends were already at the train door as I packed my phone and glasses in my bag. When I said, “Excusé moi,” one of the boys mocked me… “Excusé moi,” he said in a high and snarky voice. Yes, I told him he was very rude, and then he and his pals trapped me with their knees. I pushed past and stumbled down a number of steps, at which point the boys burst into laughter. (I will tell you, I felt very old in that moment, and a bit vulnerable.) But one of the boys looked me in the eye and asked, “Ça va?" Twice he asked if I was okay. And then, one of the riders from our bus, a tall man who’d given me a thumbs up for my offer of coffee to the bus driver, intervened. He quietly upbraided those boys! I felt… I don’t know. Great! The ça va boy, the man who spoke to them, nearly undid the agitation. They connected with me in kindness. All was not lost.

…

In these times when so much seems like crap… I have told myself that this year my imperative is connection. With myself. With my creative work. With family and friends, neighbors and strangers whom I pass on the street. What is your imperative? Where are you seeing moments of kindness? Please, do tell:

…

At dinner after our day together in Ventimigli, our new friend, Makiko said, “I’m so happy I am crying.” She’s here in Nice with little English and little French and her beautiful Japanese and her big brave heart. We’d spent a lot of the day on google translate, laughing and pointing and playing charades. I thought, yes, but maybe just now for me it’s the other way around. “I am crying. And, I’m so happy.”

…

Thanks for reading. I hope your day includes many moments of connection. If you’re not yet a paid subscriber and you wish to send a little love my way:

If you missed the last few jewels… no fear! Here are a few everyone seemed to love: re: coffee cups. beans. boobs. doors. mistakes.

To stay in the loop:

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Here’s Stanley, claiming his own seat on the train:

Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!

merci,