eat.eat.eat... preferably with friends
I went to the farmers market and some cooking happened + ❤️🩹 what I learned at a memorial
Hi-Hi,
A friend has died. His disease was swift and cruel and he was too young.
We didn’t know our friend as well as we would have liked. We last saw each other in France and made plans to spend more time in one another’s company in the coming year. And then he fell ill. And then he died. And now we feel a hole where this burgeoning closer friendship with his family was meant to be. Our hearts are broken.
I want to tell you things I learned at his memorial service:
When everyone in the room is reeling from an untimely death, it’s okay, a balm even, to loudly call Bullshit from the pulpit.
A good eulogy includes petty stories—an argument between a husband and wife that (d)evolved from a pledge to never forgive to a hearty laugh, a mocking lipstick gesture immortalized, a deep devotion to ice cream.
Show a lot of pictures. The reel at the close of the memorial was long and lovely. Our friend’s smile the center of photo after photo. So many groups. So many moments when someone must have said, “Let’s grab a selfie.” I fell in love with the evidence of a life well lived. A life in which people leaned into one another at the table, clustered in front of a mountain in jackets and hats, paused in waist high waves with children clinging. So much joy! I promised myself to emphasize the groups, invite the crowd over, take a moment to immortalize community.
Be generous. My friend was a filmmaker who chose to focus upon people living on the fringe. As we arrived at the church, Joel and I noticed people living outside. I snagged (sorry) almost a dozen cookies as I was leaving the memorial and, in my friend’s honor, I handed them out to people living rough. Have a cookie. Would you like a cookie? I think he would have liked this small good thing.
A good obituary illuminates a life. I have promised myself that when I’m irritated or disappointed in someone, I’m going to write their obit in my head. Not because I want them gone, I just want to focus on their gifts, on what makes them unique, special, and wonderful. We all have that in us, right? I’d like to try and see all of it while the person is still right here in the world beside me.
“It was all worth it,” he said at the end. Rest in Peace dear Brian.
…
What have you learned lately?
eat:
My French friend was shocked to learn that this haul of vegetables + the bouquet cost upward of ninety dollars. It is shocking. Food prices have gone sky high in the last year. My friend asked me to send her the image so she could show her family in Paris and they could be horrified and maybe feel a smidge of schadenfreude? I mean, we did vote for him (not me, you know what I mean!).
I pledged to myself that I’d stretch the veggies as long as I could, hoping to have them last a week. But then I decided instead to have a dinner party. (See note from above re: group photos, and then I forgot to take the photo!)
All I have left are the potatoes.
Here’s what I made and served along with simple grilled chicken. At the end we had a bit of gelato with fresh strawberries and everyone was happy.
Blonde Ratatouille:
Basically I made the recipe below, with a few modifications. I used patty pan squash instead of zucchini. I substituted orange cherry tomatoes for the Romas. I unfortunately had no red bell pepper and it was really a loss so don’t make my mistake. I did scatter a scant amount of red chili flakes.
Additionally, after all was roasted, I added adorable, tiny mozzarella balls and put the pan back in the oven long enough for them to melt. I scattered with toasted pine nuts and it was a delight. Also, forgot to take a photo. (I know, a theme here.)
What I want you to gather from this? The recipe is forgiving and flexible.
eat:
If you don’t know Jimmy Nardello, I’d like to introduce you to this gorgeous, misshapen banana of a red pepper. First of all, isn’t the name delicious? Jimmy Nardello! I wish he’d been my first boyfriend.
What to do with them? Buy heaps. Slice them in half lengthwise. Remove the seeds. Nestle them side by side in a roasting pan. They should be snug. Pour on olive oil until they are bathing in it, nearly covered. (Note I didn’t say drowning.) Roast at 250 degrees for 2 hours. Yes, that long! They are delicious languidly resting atop scrambled eggs. A delight set atop a thick spread of butter on hearty bread. Stab them with a toothpick and eat them plain. I am in for the entire season!
eat:
Yogurt Roasted Carrots
1t fennel seeds, crushed
1t cumin
Kosher salt and ground black pepper
1/3 c whole milk Greek yogurt
2 bunches of carrots, trimmed, peeled and sliced in half lengthwise
1 small shallot
1 clove garlic
1/3 c lightly packed chopped parsley
1/4 c lightly packed chopped fresh mint
Heat oven to 450 degrees. Place a rack in the middle of the oven. Line a baking sheet with parchment.
Mix together the spices and yogurt in a large bowl, add the carrots. Toss to coat. Lay the carrots in an even layer on the baking sheet. Roast until charred and when stabbed with a skewer they feel tender. About 30 minutes.
While the carrots roast, add a glug of good olive oil to a pan, sauté the garlic and shallot till fragrant and translucent.
When the carrot are done, place on a platter. Spoon the shallot and garlic sauté over the top. Season with salt and pepper. Scatter with herbs.
Remember I said all I have left are the potatoes? What luck that Colu Henry just posted a recipe for a terrific looking potato salad!
Drink?
I had this delightful cocktail at Andina in Portland the other night.
The menu lists the ingredients as:
lime peel-infused tequila
cointreau
passionfruit
agave
lime
cilantro
coriander salt.
If you are, or know of, or love, a mixologist and feel like exploring and sharing the proportions, I think we might have the celebratory cocktail of the season!
In case you missed the read and write sections today, no fear… they will resume! Meanwhile here are opportunities to engage in the r.w.e. community:
Mentor Book Group— in which we read memoirs, personal growth books, fiction and discuss what we might like to adopt in our own “work-in-progress” lives. THE OTHER SIDE OF CHANGE, by Maya Shankar will be our July book, meeting on 26 July at 9a pacific time. Love to have you join us.
If you’d like to discuss books with me and a group of smart and lively readers, the r.w.e. book group selection for July is THE THINGS WE NEVER SAY, by Elizabeth Strout. We will meet Sunday, 12 July, also at 9a pacific time on zoom. Want to join in?
The book groups are a perk for paid subscribers. I’d love to get to know you better:
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Stanley at the beach:
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Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!
PS:
In case you missed it, here are a couple recent posts:
And, to stay in the loop:
For $90, you got a gorgeous spread of vegetables, a delicious meal, memories of an evening with friends, a group photo to add to "your last reel." Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate your friend, and then cast life’s net large with more food + love, friends and community.