Hi-Hi,
At the market today I was looking for a certain bottle of wine, a delicious grenache from Santa Cruz Mountain Vineyard. A lovely young woman came to help.
“Let’s check over here,” she said.
I followed behind her, a bit hangdog, very depleted. “I was planning on not drinking any wine tonight… but it’s been a day. I’m here in town to help my mother with dementia and today was hard.”
“Well,” this young bodhisattva said, “sometimes the day you get requires you to change your plans.”
When the butcher weighed up my salmon, he asked about my day.
“Hard,” I said. I mentioned mother care and how unkind, even cruel dementia patients can be.
“I have someone with dementia in my family too,” he said. “So mean. So random.” And all of a sudden we were family.
…
Why am I telling you this? Again, even though I know it already, I was surprised how these two strangers helped me. I could have said, “I’m fine,” to the butcher. I could have not mentioned my intention to skip a glass of wine this evening, but if I hadn’t been forthcoming, I would have missed an opportunity to connect, an opportunity to feel a little better and to have made the butcher feel a little less alone as well. I know it’s a small thing and I’m typing a lot of words here, but if you share how you really feel, if we all do, I think we will be surprised by the ways in which the world rises up to meet us.
…
This has been a week of wild emotional swings.
A joy filled wedding!
I met a sweet baby!
I walked on the beach!
I accidentally hurt someone’s feelings…
I had uncomfortable political discussions...
I got yelled at…
I listened to my mother complain about haircuts, podiatrist visits, Telehealth visits, food, and even too much sunshine.
I saw my mother smile and enjoy a peach cobbler!
A friend I care about has fallen back into disordered eating
…
It has been so much, that I am taking a break for the rest of this newsletter. Please know I’ll be back next week, feeling rested. New subscribers, I welcome you and I apologize. Check here and here for a bit of fun, and look forward to next week when I will bring a great salad, a great book, and some thoughts on alone time.
Tell me, please, what do you do when it is all too much?
On top of everything, I am still not home and I’m missing Stanley:
Thanks for being here with me.
Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!
PS:
In case you missed it, here are a couple recent posts:
I go to bed. But here is something I want you to know Natalie, I just spent 4 days off the grid in the Mt. Adams wilderness area and in addition to my husband, my companion was the book, Shout her Lovely Name by one Natalie Serber. It was sooo good and transported me in such a way that I almost didn't want to leave the campsite to go for a hike. Your writing is beautiful, vulnerable and so human...no wonder you have hard days. You FEEL...and I thank you for that. I hope today is the gift you need.
I'm always right next door if an unexpected day needs a no-questions-asked hug in addition to that glass of wine.