smell with your mouth
what I learned by paying attention + I took a saucy French cooking class + out of a slump
Quick reminder up top: my newsletter is a 💯 human endeavor:
If you enjoy my writing, if you would like to brighten someone’s day, if you’d like to help me out with the substack universe and the algorithm, would you please share? It truly makes a difference.
One more thing? If you hit the like button on your way out the door it creates a little burst of applause in my heart.
Bonjour-Bonjour,
In a few days Stanley will be tucked beneath the seat in front of us and we will wing our way back to the States. Yes, I’ll be happy to see my people. Yes, I’ll be mostly glad to slip back into my life. And, yes, I’ve been paying attention to what life looks like (from the outside to be sure) here in France. What am I going to take home that won’t fit in my suitcase? Big and small lifestyle changes that I believe will help me stem the flow of future regrets, help me reclaim my joie de vivre. Here are des trucs Français I wish to adopt:
bonjour - au revoir - merci - avec plaisir - pas du tout - pas grave: hello, goodbye, thank you, with pleasure, not at all, it’s not a big deal. These petite phrases said all the time reflect an ease, a general civility-at-large. Of course we do this at home as well, but here in France, it is everywhere, tous les temps.
lingering at the table: Maybe the meat of conversation will come after we’ve been sated? Why rush, why ask for the check just yet, what might we discover if we remain together for a few more moments?
alone with their thoughts: of course I am not naive to believe the French have no worries, but I do notice, walking around, in a museum, at the marché, at a café, une aura de vie pas mauvaise. Life is not bad. Life is not meant to be won. People seem able to sit at a café table alone, without a book, without a phone, sipping their beverage and staring into the middle distance, completely relaxed. At home we check our phones while waiting for a light to change. I check my phone while waiting 4 minutes to press the plunger on my cafetière au piston in the morning. The French, from my limited view, seem to relish being seul avec leurs pensées.
la flaneuse: I am a doer, a list crosser-offer. What a joy it has been to wander aimlessly, just looking around, turning here and there at whim. I would like to carry on with that.
work does not eat life: Do you know that it is against the law for a boss to email employees outside of work hours? The law is called, The Right to Disconnect. Hence, at the close of the workday cafés and the banks of the Seine are packed with people, enjoying, chatting, drinking rosé, drinking coke, laughing, leaning into one another. The river rolls lazily by, the waiter drops off another glass, everyone is charmed and charming.
reading in public: I used to always go about my day with a book in my bag. This has slowly morphed into phone in my bag. Whether checking email or messages, solving a NYTs puzzle, checking step count, I am not reading… I’m shifting back to the book, back to reading on a bench.
les bouquets frais: flowers and produce. Yes, please. More, please.
smell with your mouth: I took a cooking class with a new friend. As we walked away, she said, “I’m still smelling with my mouth!” English is not her first language, but this phrase was better than perfect. When I return home I want to smell with my mouth, taste with my eyes, see with my hands… because that is really all of the things, no? I wish to return more porous to experiences, bringing them in every which way!
les sauces: anything can be enhanced by a delicious sauce. More on this below in the eat section.
…
I am certain this list will grow. I wonder, how has travel changed you? What have your brought home that didn’t fit in your suitcase?
read:
I am thoroughly enjoying BUCKEYE, by Patrick Ryan. It’s our r.w.e. book group selection for April and I am so delighted that Patrick will be joining us. See below for more information. I just want you to know, these characters, their complicated lives, the history, I am so in.
One of the characters, Everett, dashes off angry letters to politicians and I am thoroughly enjoying them, even raising my fist to the sky. The letters prove, everything old is new again. Here’s an example:
Dear President Eisenhower,
…what a fool I was to think we had evolved beyond our incredible capacity for destruction, because you, sir, are taking us back to the dark ages. May God, if such a being still exists in what is left of the Heavens, have mercy on all the underlings and wretched sons of bitches who promote and encourage the dropping of bombs on innocent people. As such individuals are following your orders, please know that you have blood and worse on your hands. May you suffer mightily in a court of law or by angry mob.
Of course, feel free to replace Eisenhower with your present day politician of choice.
I look so forward to a spritely and deep conversation with Patrick. Do consider joining!
Opportunities to engage in the r.w.e. community:
If you’d like to discuss books with me and a group of smart and lively readers, the r.w.e. book group selection for March is THE SPARE ROOM, by Helen Garner. We meet Sunday, 15 March, at 9a pacific time on zoom.
BUCKEYE, by Patrick Ryan, will be our April book group book, and Patrick will be joining in our conversation on Sunday, 12 April at 9a pacific time! I can tell you he is a wonderful writer, excellent editor, and all around good egg! Want to join us? The book group is a perk for paid subscribers. I’d love to get to know you better:
Get this! We also have a Mentor Book Group— in which we read memoirs, personal growth books and discuss what we might like to adopt in our own “work-in-progress” lives. I listened to Patti Smith’s new memoir, BREAD OF ANGELS will be our March book, meeting on 29 March at 9a pacific time. Love to have you join us.
I’ve made a read.write.eat. Bookshop where you will find many of the books I’ve recommended. Buying books from my shop is another way you can support my newsletter. I have made a special Women’s History Month list of books about women who are strong, weak, and splendid!
write:
Before I left for France I was in a terrible writing slump. I must have shared with you because sharing is my way. I want other slumpers to feel less alone.
I also audaciously gave myself a goal of being 35k words (roughly 100 pages) into a new project before I headed home. I had no project. I had no idea. I was scared.
Dear Readers, I am happy to say, the tide turned! Here are the things that helped, maybe you can adopt one of these for yourself when you’re in a slump?
Morning Pages. You know, those messy, rambling, whining, mosh pit style pages that you get down first thing in the morning. I wrote about them here:
Language School. Of course you don’t have to go to language school. But put yourself in the path of something new. Pottery. Choir. Skateboarding. Put yourself in the position of being a novice. I found, because I was absolutely going to screw up at language school with no bad outcome, I was at liberty to screw up on the page.
Watercolors. I am bad. Again, being a novice is a beautiful thing. But more than that, it’s the close focus, the meditative state one falls into, not unlike writing. It helped me to build a habit. Wrote about that here:
Work in the world. I wrote about a pretty horrid event with my mother. And, many of you commented, offered kind words about the situation and the writing, which gave me a little boost. You can do that too! Plus, my agent suggested that maybe there is a book here… something I could string together about how we care for people who could not properly care for us, about the strength we inherit, about risk, about survival.
Writing class. Even a one day seminar. I promise it will stir you up. I took an online workshop with Karen Karbo that was all prompts and sharing for 6 weeks. Darien Gee offers a full menu of writing opportunities. Ronit Plank too is a great resource. And, I will be offering another Writing Circle on 2 May. I promise I will bring enterprising new prompts!
Let me know if you’re interested by shooting me an email or messaging me here:
And, Dear Readers. I am leaving with 34k words under by belt. Will I use them all? Of course not. But I am well on my way. It wasn’t any one thing, it was all the things. Try one, see what happens. And, please, let me know:
eat:
I took a sauce class at La Cuisine Paris cooking school and it was fantastic! I cannot recommend it enough! We met at 10 and cooked for 3 solid hours, preparing nine sauces:
Bechamel
Bearnaise & Hollandaise
Red Wine Shallot
Port Wine
Poivre Vert
Vinaigrette
Aioli w/chili
Carmel au Beurre Sale
Chocolat
I know! Insane!
I will share one here with you today, but stay tuned for all the others, I promise, I will share over time when I prepare them at home with the various sauce recipients!
Red Wine Shallot Sauce
2 Shallots, chopped
2T unsalted butter
2c beef, veal, or mushroom stock
2c red wine (You must use drinkable wine. Bad wine will not get magically better by cooking and adding butter… I know, hard to believe!)
1 stick cold butter, diced
1 t sugar, or jam of choice (optional)
Salt & Pepper
Dried Thyme
Melt 2T butter in a saucepan. Add the shallots and thyme and sweat until tender.
Add the stock and the wine, plus sugar if using to cut the acidity of the wine. Reduce over medium heat until reduced by 1/3 and syrupy.
Once you have the correct consistency, gradually add the cold butter, whisking constantly until fully emulsified.
Season with salt and pepper
Serve over steak, cod fish, chicken, roasted potatoes
Stanley, having a tourist day:
I hope your day is full of life!
If you find yourself regularly reading and enjoying my work and you’d like to show some thanks, you can do so with this charming button:
If you aren’t ready to hop on, yet you wish to send a little love my way:
…
Thanks for being here with me.
Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!
Merci,
PS:
In case you missed it, here are a couple missives from our time here in France.
And, to stay in the loop:
Hi, Natalie
I look forward to your messages from France. Like being there for a few moments.
Thanks!
Safe travels and so glad to have shared the adventure with you!!