either way I'm celebrating...

less/more + ten books about friendship + a writing party ++ a zesty beverage

Jan 09, 2024

2024 is a jubilee 🥳 year for me.

Maybe that’s a thing and maybe I made it up? Either way, I’m celebrating.

I’ll be sixty-two in a couple of weeks. I was born in 1962. See where I’m headed? 62/62 = Jubilee. I have zesty feelings/aspirations for the year ahead. We all know 2024 has heaviness stacked against it (election worries, two wars) so I’m going to try to keep my corner shiny. Kind of like this tiny mouse, caught on film, nightly cleaning up the workbench of a gentleman in Wales. Seriously you must click this link to see the mouse in action.

To kick off my own tidy goals, I made a less/more list. I even doodled images per Wendy McNaughton’s wonderful stack DRAW TOGETHER/Grown-Ups Table.

Definitely on my MORE list, family and friends (there they are, holding hands and saying ‘yay!’), also flowers, sunrises/sunsets, kissing my husband (in the day-to-day do you forget those important gestures sometimes? I do…) And, yes. I know. I’m a horrible draw-er but who cares? I drew anyway and I’m bravely sharing so you can do it too! Check out Wendy Mac’s 30 day challenge. It’s not too late…

Tell me your less/more!

read:

I’m such a ridiculous clipboard holding planner I made my annual pledge to read 52 books in 2024. Every year I make the same goal and most years I don’t make it. Which is not punishable-by-law because along with books, I read many manuscripts from students and clients. I read all the time.

Then I came across this article, which poo-poos the idea of counting books. I get it, why quantify something that brings joy? Why turn reading into a conquest rather than a pleasurable emersion into another life? Because that’s what reading does for me. I disappear into another human’s experience each time I lift a book from my nightstand, or plug in my AirPods for a great audio book and a walk. And yet, I do love my gold star for finishing. So, how about along with aiming for a number of books read, which might help us prioritize reading, let’s also pledge to read more widely and with more curiosity. Let’s slip into the experiences of many humans and make new literary friends.

To start you off, here’s a list of friendship books for you and (y)ours:

THE INTERESTINGS, by Meg Wolitzer, is a favorite novel of mine. As a kid, I never got to go to summer camp (I know, woe is me) but I feel as if I did go with these six kids who attend a camp for the arts and become inseparable. Decades later their friendships remain powerful, though of course everything else in their lives has changed. Wolitzer tracks her people from the glow and glory of youth through middle age when their talents, fortunes, and degrees of satisfaction diverge. (Side note, I’ll be teaching with Meg Wolitzer (pinch me!) and Karen Karbo (pinch me again!) in September at Come to Your Senses retreat (my summer camp redux) in the South of France, perhaps the remaining spot or two belong to you and your bestie!)

A few more books about chums from which to choose:

LAROSE, by Louise Erdrich
FROG AND TOAD ARE FRIENDS, Arnold Lobel
MY BRILLIANT FRIEND, Elena Ferrante
FIONA AND JANE, Jean Chen Ho
TOMORROW, AND TOMORROW, AND TOMORROW, Gabrielle Zevin
BIG FRIENDSHIP: HOW WE KEEP EACH OTHER CLOSE, Aminatou Saw and Ann Friedman
SWING TIME, Zadie Smith
WHO WILL RUN THE FROG HOSPITAL, Lorrie Moore
ANOTHER BROOKLYN, Jacqueline Woodson

Not a book, but stay with me, because this is wonderful and isn’t the TV show about friends you might expect: RESERVATION DOGS, Sterlin Harjo and Taika Waititi. Aho. I adore this show. Each episode focuses on a different character and at the close of each I think to myself, oh Cheese/Bear/Willie Jack/Elora you are my favorite. This show loves its characters so much. Mind you, it doesn’t protect its characters, but it loves them. We plowed through seasons one and two and now are savoring the final season, we just don’t want to say goodbye to cousin/uncle/daughter/grandma.

Another opportunity for new friends: I’ll be leading a reading group and I invite you to join! For February (the shortest yet hardest month—cold, dark, wet— ugh!) we’ll be reading a book that transports us! HOWARDS END, by EM Forster. We’ll meet over zoom at 9:30a PST on two Sundays (roughly reading 200 pages for each meeting). I love this novel and there is the lovely film version we can discuss as well. Should we enjoy ourselves immensely as I hope, we have the option of then reading ON BEAUTY, Zadie Smith’s riff on Howards End. Please do let me know if you’re interested in joining. And please buy the edition I’ve linked to above, just so we can all find the sections we want to discuss. (It’s also available from the bad place.)

Check my read.write.eat. Bookshop Store, where you will find many of the books I've recommended in the newsletter. Buying books from my shop is a way you can be a friend to the newsletter.

write:

I hosted a Writers’ Day Spa at my home and it was terrific!

We gathered, we had coffee, we communed, we learned, we wrote, we ate, we wrote, some of us took a walk, we shared our work. And a value add… a writing group was born from the gathering. This is a MORE I wish for! If you do as well, it is so easy… clear your calendar for a day, invite your writer pals to your place. Plan some simple food, set bowls full of prompts around for people who get stuck, and then celebrate at the close of the day by reading your work and raising a glass.

One of my favorite writers, Deborah Levy, says:

So much of writing is about stamina. It’s about the appetite for solitude, and being able to be alone with your own thoughts.

Which is absolutely true, and which is why a quarterly Writing Spa Day, a time for gathering, for quietly writing in the company of others, is so rejuvenating. Sometimes being surrounded by breathing bodies spurs you on. If you’re interested in participating in a Spring Writers’ Day Spa, Chez Moi, smash the button below! Let me know.

a prompt:

For those who became stuck or stymied, as I mentioned above, I placed bowls of prompts around my home. Here are three for you:

Write about your teeth.
Write about a "guilty displeasure." Something you don't like even though you're "supposed" to love it.
Write about unrequited love.
Write about a time your opinion of another person was transformed from judgment to compassion.

eat (drink):

A friend recently wrote a piece about her changing relationship with alcohol. I can relate. I’ll admit that when our kids were teenagers and we were managing stress and big personalities in our home, we blew off steam with a lot of dinner parties. Our yellow bottle bin was very full on trash day. And then in my fifties, after having breast cancer and learning about the relationship between alcohol and cancer, I winnowed back my consumption and I felt sorry for myself, missing as I did the glass of red wine beside the cutting board while onions wilted in butter on the stove. It was my prize at day’s end. Now in my sixties (hooray jubilee year!!), I’ve cut back even more, but minus the feeling of pity. At this point my body just doesn’t like alcohol. Sure, I love the flavor of a good glass of red wine, and I love the flag-in-a-light-breeze sensation I feel after even a couple of sips. But in the morning the polluted feeling isn’t worth it. I’d much rather wake bright-eyed and not dragging even after a single glass. In case this is you as well, I give you this mocktail recipe from my friend, Gina.

Gina-Lollo-Mocktail: a photo essay!

Assemble your ingredients:

Topo Chico - roughly half the glass
San Pelligrino Sparking Fruit Mixer - about 1/4 of the remaining room in the glass
Pom Wonderful - 2-3 tablespoons
Fruit! I squeeze in at least one half a lemon or a lime, or both. A good slice of grapefruit, and maybe a few pomegranate seeds.
A bit of sass and attitude per Gina Lollobrigida!
Not pictured - a splash of ginger kombucha and/or bitters.

Mix and match, experiment, add a splash of this, a splash of that in a pretty or plain glass with lots of ice.

A votre sante!

Thanks for reading. Here’s my crew: Stanley, Milo, and my husband, all staring me down. Yes, they are my friends, my loves, but it looks as if they want some of my coffee, which is a hard no!

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Remember to tell your people you love them, and take good care of your skin.

xN