Ray Charles saved my marriage!
Valentine's Day ... celebrate love ♥️ w/a chatGBT love poem, a special (and especially easy) meal to serve your love(s), +++ a reading Rx
hey-hey,
Come for the love, but first a quick pause at the top for calls to action. I’ve been on the verge of despair, trying to stay focused on my work rather than being dragged into the current terrifying circus. What is mere distraction? What is real?
How are you?
I went to a protest today and I’m feeling a tiny bit better. People are taking action.
Here are three resources that may make you feel better:
Use the 5 Calls app to contact your representatives on various issues, they include sample scripts to use when you leave messages.
Directly call your reps through the Capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121.
Indivisible consistently offers opportunities to speak up, mobilize, and get involved, locally and nationally.
Okay, deep breath. Another. Maybe do some EFT therapy, soft tapping below your collarbone, over your heart… it helps.
…
Let me tell you…there were fireworks! When my husband and I were first dating, major sparks of attraction! And we fought ALL THE TIME! He was living in LA and I was in grad school in Santa Cruz. We fought on the telephone, at the beach, at the airport, in the car, in the shower, even in bed where we tumbled for terrific make-up sex that ended in another fight. Mostly we fought about time, about commitment. I believe(d) we were so lucky to have found one another, he was afraid. (How original of us, no?)
At the time I worked for MGM Home Video, he had a small swag company, and we both had business in Las Vegas. Dear Reader, we fought in Vegas too! And let me tell you, this fight was bombastic. I am not a shrinking violet… late one afternoon I ran down snaking corridors, turning left and right in the enormous hotel, yelling over my shoulder, “Leave me alone!” Joel, in hot pursuit, yelled, “Wait, I love you…” or something like that. I turned and burst through a double door into a vast and empty ballroom with red velvet chairs, and many large round tables (picture the Golden Globes). Pale yellow light cut across the floor through massive windows hung with heavy golden drapes. At the front of the room, far from me, a stage, on the stage, a white grand piano, at the piano, a man practiced and sang. Breathing hard, taking it in, I swiveled back to face the doors as Joel exploded through. I held my finger to my lips and we sat. Still and silent, holding hands, watching Ray Charles practice!
I know!!!
We felt a little sneaky and so stayed for just 20 minutes or so. But the fight was over. We were so lucky. It was wonderful.
Thank you paid subscribers!
If you’re a free subscriber maybe you’re looking for a way to say merci for this spot-of-sunshine in your inbox, it’s easy, become a paid subscriber. I’d love that for both of us!
read:
Do you turn to books for catharsis? I sometimes do. Falling into a novel gives us all the opportunity to practice hard emotions, to find a path through by reading about how someone else muddled along. We can scare ourselves without having to go into the dark wood! Marcel Proust has said that a novelist can, in an hour, “set free all kinds of happiness and misfortune which would take years of our ordinary lives to know.”
So, if I’m to consider reading an Rx, I first ask myself, what do I need help with? Feeling anxious. Feeling a need for community. Feeling tired. Feeling that I want to seek out and celebrate LOVE in all its permutations. Feeling all of it? Here’s some books to check out:
For anxiety:
ELEANOR OLIPHANT IS COMPLETELY FINE, by Gail Honeyman
MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION, by Ottessa Moshfegh
For a tragic love story to make you feel better about your life:
ANNA KARENINA, by Leo Tolstoy
For a love story, with a side of humor and Aspergers:
THE ROSIE PROJECT, by Graeme Simsion
For the joys and strengths of community to combat loneliness:
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE, by Mike Gayle
For how to move through grief:
HAMNET, by Maggie O’Farrell
For big laughs and smart social criticism:
HOW TO BE A WOMAN, by Caitlin Moran
What do you read to process big feelings?
Want more community in 2025? We have zoom r.w.e. book group!
The book group is a perk for paid subscribers and let me tell you we are a lively bunch!
Go ahead, upgrade to paid and claim your spot. I hope to get to know you better!
Check my read.write.eat. Bookshop Store, where you will find many of the books I've recommended in the newsletter. Buying books from my shop is a way you can be a friend to the newsletter.
write:
I asked chatGBT to write a love poem:
Write a love poem to my husband of 35 years. He likes good food. He’s funny. His love language is doing nice things for people. He cleans the kitchen perfectly every night. He loves to ride his bike. Write it in the style of Jennifer Coolidge from White Lotus.
Here’s what I got:
Stuffed with Love:
You’re like the perfect pasta—al dente and divine, And every night, you clean that kitchen—like, it's almost like you enjoy it, and I just... wow. Who knew that the man I married, the one who makes me laugh until I can’t breathe, Would be the same dude washing the dishes while I'm over here pretending I don’t know how to work a sponge? It’s like, you’re basically a saint, but, like, a really cool one. You’re funny, babe, like, really funny. Like, you're the guy that could make even a tax audit sound like a joke and I’m here for it. And I know you love to ride that bike like it’s your second wife, but... you know what? I’m okay with that. Because the way you love me, just doing all these little things, makes me feel like I’m the queen of... like, a really clean kitchen. Baby, I love you, I love your bike rides, I love the way you make me laugh, and I love that you think dishes are, like, your love language. And I’m just sitting here, stuffed with love, saying: I’m never leaving you, ever.
So, yeah. Big sigh.
Did chatGBT kill it? I invite you to play! I invite you to plug your own specific request into AI. Add as many concrete details as possible. Request in the voice of Jack Nicholson, Dolly Parton, Beyoncé, Elmo, you be you. Go wild! Then cut, paste, revise, edit, rewrite. Consider the poem your own word salad. Make it shine!
At the very least you’ll get 15 minutes of freedom from the world. At the most you will use AI as a scaffold for a funny and fun Valentine’s Day card.
If you currently have it in you to go deep. Here are some suggestions for writing your own love poem.
Answer why. Why the love?
Think of a time and place or images that matter to your love and to you as a couple. Use the private language/memories that you and your love share.
Use concrete imagery whenever possible. How about using a text stream? Include how your love’s hair looks on the pillow at night? Sharing the bathroom sink… the litter of hair specks left behind when they shave. The way their shoulders move when they wash the dishes 😉!
Open with a bang if you can. For example, consider Maggie Nelson’s BLUETS. She opens with, “Suppose that I were to begin by saying I’ve fallen in love with a color”.
Go wild! Have fun. We deserve fun!
Also, order this super fancy chocolate! Or, simply drool over the photos as I do!
💫💫💫If you enjoy r.w.e. will you kindly pause to hit the ❤️ at the top left or bottom of this post? It sure does help in the substack scheme of things and gives me a lift! xoNatalie 💫💫💫
eat:
You must make this! Mostly because it is absolutely delicious and will definitely be on repeat in our home, but also because it’s fun to put it all together on the sheet pan! The flavors are terrific. And it takes just minutes to pop in the oven!