o sleep! o gentle sleep! nature's soft nurse...
a discount, the secrets on my nightstand, a terrific salad, 2 books, + writing opportunities
I love outward expressions of love:
hey-ho,
I often joke that the two best parts of my day are the first sip of coffee (best taken propped on pillows in bed), and the nighttime chewing of the CBD gummy. Not joking! Sometimes I throw in a little face mask.
I’m amazed and delighted when I open my eyes in the morning and realize I’ve slept through the night. I know, parents doesn’t that remind you of your infants and how delighted we used to be to snatch a few hours of sleep in a row? I remember we called it “sleeping through the night” when our baby girl slept from 10p - 2a. We take what we can get!
Behold the tools (with links) that help me get a full rest:
five minute journal (used VERY sporadically)
When I put on the final three listed below, I feel as if I’ve entered my sleep cave…
sleep mask (I know there are really fancy ones, if you have one you love, do tell…)
ear plugs
bite guard—yes, I grind
What are your rituals and requirements for a full night sleep? Asking for a friend! 😉
read:
A quick housekeeping note! Every Friday I’ve got a WEEKEND READING chat stream going. I want to hear from you all, please! Do tell, what are you excited to read? What are you loving? What could be better than a reader curated TBR? Here’s a recent rich thread…
It wasn’t until they were broken up that I fell in love with the Talking Heads… I know, I’m always late to the party. What can I say, my loss. And of course now I love all things David Byrne. Especially this.
So, no surprise that I’m late to the party reading MONSTERS, A FAN’S DILEMMA, by Claire Dederer. I’m mesmerized. I write heavily in my books, and one margin note that I dropped early in this book reads: Think Harder. WONDER ABOUT THINGS. The book really does feel like a call to action for me, not about Art Monsters per say, but just to pay attention more fully in general. Don’t let upsetting things slip by. Am I just lazy? Do I take things at face value? What did I think when I was 17 and the movie Manhattan came out? Woody Allen’s character (42 and 2x divorced) was sleeping with high school student (also 17), Mariel Hemingway. Honestly I am embarrassed to tell you… I thought, she’s lucky. I grew up in a home (and perhaps the wider world) where the male gaze, male attention was the golden ticket. I thought, she is valued, she has someone who will take care of her. God, it makes me cringe to write that. Of course in the movie, Hemingway’s character is the most mature, the one that calls off the affair. Not so in my life. When I was 19 I married a 35 year old! I don’t know what all this means, what my choice and revelation tells you, except that MONSTERS is a flinty and incisive read that may make you reconsider your own world view, and in some cases (mine) ask more questions.
Here’s a passage about the presidential election in 2016 that we may want to keep in mind:
I drank coffee and ate buttered toast and watched as the Republican presidential candidate talked about grabbing women by the pussy. You don’t need me to remind you.
I watched with all the old memories inside my body, the kind of memories so many women have. And the denial of the memories was there too. The denial was so deep that when I heard…
“Grab ‘em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
….I didn’t even realize he was describing assault. Didn’t realize until I went on social media to monitor the response to the news and some dude named it: “This is assault.”
I have an essay up about not naming an assault, about the denial of memories like this. Not every chapter in Dederer’s book lands this hard for me, but I’m deeply engaged.
…
I guess it’s my week of Claire’s because I’m also listening to Claire Lombardo’s novel, THE MOST FUN WE EVER HAD. I had to rewind and re-listen to these lines from a conversation between the mother and an adult child, Wendy, one of four sisters. They’re discussing the perils and fears of motherhood. How we often feel we don’t measure up, as a mom or as a daughter.
"You are sending freestanding beings into the world and it is entirely on your shoulders.”
“So when you fuck it up…” Wendy said.
“Please, my dear,” her mom said. “Don’t put words into my mouth.”
The secret of her mother, she wished she’d been willing to learn it earlier, give her an ounce of yourself and she’d give herself to you in totality, metric tons of love, and amusement, and conviction. Wendy pulled her knees to her chest, fifteen again, and shoved a triangle of pita into her mouth.
What I enjoy about this… I can easily place myself on both sides of this equation. A lot of life happens in this novel… birth, death, marriage, sex, food, no food, adoption, love, divorce… all the things and it feels true. It’s a perfect audiobook.
What are you reading?
For our next r.w.e. book group we will be reading and discussing GOD OF THE WOODS, by Liz Moore, described as “…riveting .. an epic mystery, a family saga and a survival guide.” I’m in!
The book group is a perk for paid subscribers and let me tell you we are a lively bunch!
We meet on Zoom, 18 August from 9:30 - 11a PT. Do consider joining us. A paid subscription is a mere $1.25 per week! Far less than the cost of one coffee. Go ahead, upgrade to paid and claim your spot. Hope to get to know you better!
Check my read.write.eat. Bookshop Store, where you will find many of the books I've recommended in the newsletter. Buying books from my shop is a way you can be a friend to the newsletter.
write:
Writing pals! I’m starting an ACCOUNTABILITY THREAD for all subscribers! We’ll begin by setting CONDITIONS OF ENOUGHNESS… that is, what would you like to accomplish that will make you feel satisfied with your commitment to your writing. Once we’ve set our goals, we’ll check in on a text stream, just a quick, I’m here, I got it done! Let me know if your in:
I mentioned I recently took a short essay class that left me inspired, and in possession of a deck of essay drafts to continue to work on. (Here’s a link to one of my essays!) Now that the class is over, I miss the community and the opportunity for one more editorial pass from my teacher. And so, I’ve built my own class with the added feature of a post class edit. Check it out!
Autumn Short Essay Class: This will be fun! An intensive class, in which we will write four short essays in five weeks. Each week we’ll read and discuss sample essays. Participants will have to opportunity to respond to prompts based on the works we’ve read or to follow their own curiosity. Everyone will have the chance to read a couple essays aloud and receive on-the-spot feedback. Each person will also have the chance for a longer workshop of one essay draft, as well as the opportunity to send me a revised essay when our class is complete for further editorial suggestions. We’ll also spend some time talking about where to submit your work.
Let’s write essays!
write 4 short essays (1k - 1.5k words)
read your work aloud to peers 2x for on-the-spot discussions,
submit an essay for complete workshop
submit to me, post workshop, a revised essay for my deeper editorial suggestions
read and discuss great sample essays
October 23 - November 20
Wednesday afternoons 5:00 - 7:30p
$375.00
8 students max
If you’re interested, save your seat:
Here’s another opportunity to write with me:
A quick note: I love bringing this newsletter to you every week, and it takes some time to put together. Thanks to all 2k free subscribers for being here with me. If you love the newsletter too, consider upping your subscription to paid. It’s a mere 1.25 a week, far less than a cup of coffee, and for that you get all the goods, plus my affection!
So, hit the red button! With the hope of encouraging more paid subscribers, a sort of honor system :) the recipe is not behind a paywall this week. And, this month, I’m offering 15% off for a subscription!
eat:
I LOVE
and her terrific Department of Salad Substack. Emily seems like a friend with whom I’d want to share a conversation and a salad! As soon as I found her I hopped on board as a paid subscriber.The inspiration for the salad above came from her archives, I tweaked it a bit to suit my family. Oh, the colors!
Cantaloupe, Cucumber, and Radicchio Salad:
1 med, ripe cantaloupe, peeled, seeds removed, cut similar to the picture above. Basically you want the cucumber and cantaloupe to be similar in size and shape.
1 English cucumber, unpeeled and sliced into rounds
1 small head of radicchio, washed and torn into smallish pieces
1/2 cup pistachios, roughly chopped
12 big mint leaves
12 big basil leaves
3-4 large sprigs of parsley
1 small clove garlic, minced
1 small jalapeño, stem cut away, and sliced into several pieces
3 tablespoons olive oil
juice of 1 lime
1 tablespoon Champagne vinegar (you can use another light vinegar)
1/4 teaspoon salt
Prepare the cukes and cantaloupe according to your wishes.
Wash and tear the radicchio
Set aside a sprig of mint and basil as garnish
Using a bullet blender (I love this one) whir the jalapeño, basil, mint, parsley, olive oil, lime, vinegar and salt. I made the mistake of whirring up the pistachios in the dressing as well. I guess I spaced out for a minute? They vanished flavor wise. So do keep them for garnish.
Arrange the salad in a large bowl, with dressing to your preference. Then top with the nuts and green garnishes.
I want to point you to Writers for Blue as a place to add your voice and your dollars for Harris/Walz. And, if you’d like to support getting voters to the polls, plus get a terrific VOTE t-shirt, check this campaign.
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Tell your people you love them, and take good care of your skin.
Monsters: a fan's dilemma, sounds really interesting. Thanks for the tip. And thanks for the link to your earlier essay about naming assault, which I just read. Terrific essay on a difficult subject.
Two things that maybe shouldn't be in the same commment, but anyhoooo: thx for dssay on rape so powerful....thx for recipe. Taking it to game night tomorrow.