hi-hi,
How are you? I’m serious. I really want to know, how are you managing? What are you doing to take care of yourself? (asking for a friend!)
Every time I lift my phone, open my laptop, or god forbid, turn on my tv, I pause, “what now?” What’s happened that will release another cortisol flood in my body? And the other question, “now what?” also looms. What can I do in this hostile reality? To stay sane, to stay engaged, to make tiny inroads toward good? I’m tying myself in knots.
In general, read.write.eat. is not a political newsletter. Yet it feels irresponsible to ignore this moment when many of us are suffering, we’re worried, we want to help people at real and present risk, we want to protect our peace, and no one knows quite what to do.
For this week I’m offering ways to disengage and to re-engage. However you decide to respond to the hostility and violence of the new ‘administration’ is exactly 💯 the correct response. You be you. No judgment.
…
Last weekend I chose to fully disengage by attending a yoga retreat. Ten women in the California foothills, meditating, practicing yoga and breath work, taking walks, eating healthy food, enjoying the night sky, lingering around the table with a glass of wine and delightful, hilarious conversations. (If you had to pick between a plate of nachos or an orgasm, what would you choose? Don’t even ask how we got there!)
As soon as I hit the airport to return home I was inundated by headlines and hurrying. In every bar a giant TV screen blared images of white-men-with-too-much-power-doing-horrible-things. I tried to keep my drishti straight ahead. At my gate a teary young girl hugged her grandparents goodbye before they delivered her to the gate agent. She was an unaccompanied minor flying between family members. That’s about right, I thought. We are all unaccompanied minors just now, leaving home, heading home, suspended in thin air where the people in charge of our safety and well being don’t love us! In fact, they want to push us out of the plane.
Someone just served us ginger ale and crappy pretzels, but the good news is we’re seat mates! We must buckle tight until we land. I’m here to offer community and reprieve and distractions and ideas for engagement and to share giant hugs.
Thank you paid subscribers!
If you’re a free subscriber maybe you’re looking for a way to say thank you… it’s easy, become a paid subscriber. I’d love that for both of us!
disengage🙈🙉🙊:
It’s okay if it is too much rn, if you aren’t ready. We must protect our own happiness and build reserves for the work ahead. You aren’t being selfish by stepping back for a bit.
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” - Dalai Lama
Read a love story! The Palestinian writer, Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, says, “I have no idea what hope is, but our people have taught me a million ways to love.” Love is the nucleus, it is how we make it through.
My friend
who owns the charming Wild Plum Books in St. Helena has three suggestions.MARTYR, by Kaveh Akbar. Despite its weighty subject matter (see title…), this novel is surprisingly funny and, at its core, is a startlingly beautiful story of friendship. I’ve never read anything like it.
TARTUFO, by Kira Jane Buxton. An absolute joy!! About a colorful cast of characters in a dying Tuscan village and the giant truffle that changes their fate. Please, leave me with my new Italian friends and come find me when the current political state of affairs blows over.
THE BOOK OF LOVE, by Kelly Link. Yes, this novel is about teenagers who come back from the dead… but really it’s about magic and friendship and, in a quieter way, grief. Sharp and human, Link explores love in all of its many guises and I couldn’t have adored it more.
Watch a movie! More love here. I want to suggest you re-view, or watch for the first time, the Richard Linklater movies, BEFORE SUNRISE, BEFORE SUNSET, both terribly romantic, and then BEFORE MIDNIGHT, which is a bit of a reality bites film about a long marriage, but still good. All three star Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Also, MY OLD ASS is a funny and bittersweet love story about what we are willing to risk to love deeply. A theme also present in the gorgeous film, ARRIVAL.
Watch a tv series! If you want to pretend you live in a world where everyone is terribly messed up and everyone is also working terribly hard to heal… look no further than SHRINKING. Also, if you’ve not yet watched SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE, why are you waiting? The show is incredible. So human, so tender. As soon as I finished the final episode I went straight back to the beginning. Finally, if you want to watch a single mom try her damndest, fail and fail harder, but also really stick the landing when things are tough… you cannot do better than BETTER THINGS.
Podcast to check: CRITICS AT LARGE. Particularly this episode, “The Value — And Limits — of Seeking Comfort in Art.”
Dreaming (threatening?) of getting out of here for a bit, follow your new language on Duolingo
If you must scroll IG, follow these uplifting accounts:
Visit Art 🖼️! Go to your local museum.
Embrace a new hobby! I love WOOL AND THE GANG for knitting and crocheting. Better yet, find a knitting circle at a shop in your neighborhood. Knitters, like Birders, are generally nice people!
If you have more ideas, please, do tell!
Want more community in 2025? We have zoom r.w.e. book group! For February we are going to be reading DIALOGUE WITH RISING TIDES, the poetry collection by my friend, the amazing poet . We are so lucky that she will be with us to discuss her poems, her writing, and whatever else she feels like!
We will also be reading, HOUSEKEEPING, a novel by Marilynne Robinson.
The book group is a perk for paid subscribers and let me tell you we are a lively bunch!
Go ahead, upgrade to paid and claim your spot. I hope to get to know you better!
Check my read.write.eat. Bookshop Store, where you will find many of the books I've recommended in the newsletter. Buying books from my shop is a way you can be a friend to the newsletter.
re-engage 🫣:
The future is always uncertain. Our capacity to tolerate discomfort is a superpower, and it is still okay to re-engage at a snail’s pace. Build up your reserves, your strength. You will do no one a bit of good if you rage and then collapse.
Not ready for full frontal news? Start with SNL. Last week they killed it with just enough of the present situation to say “WTF?” but not so much that you had to rush to 🤢.
Also Jon Stewart and AOC take a deep dive.
Here’s a great article to share widely as you dip your toe back into the news cycle. How To Read The News: A 5 Step Guide (Hint: engage your critical thinking skills!)
Still scrolling on IG? Please check:
AOC who is doing a social media version of Roosevelt’s Fireside Chats,
This very reasonable clip of Pete Buttigieg “I'm not discouraged, I'm not checking out and I'm not giving up. But I did not come here to tell you everything is going to be fine.”
Always read
’s OLDSTER MAGAZINE, but particularly this, from a 95 year old Holocaust Survivor. (Which Meta has suppressed 🤯.) “A disappointing subject for an old person is to watch for nine long decades the emerging generations repeating the same mistakes as the old ones.”Check INDIVISIBLE for calls to action that don’t take much time.
Should you choose to, suggestions for donations:
How to talk to people across a political divide will be a skillset we need… especially as we look ahead to the midterm elections, hoping for a turning tide.
Finally, I was moved and inspired by this article in The Atlantic, “Be Like Sisyphus,” by Gal Beckerman. The article tackles the notion of “toxic positivity,” that is, forced cheer in the face of adversity, and offers an alternative of tempered hope which focuses on maintaining a hopeful “orientation of the spirit” when all seems lost. Beckerman quotes Václav Havel, the Czech dissident who became the president of his country.
“Hope is not the same as joy that things are going well…but rather an ability to work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed.”
Continuing in the face of adversity is a kind of radical hope. Beckerman continues:
“The simplest way to put this is to ask whether the cause or the change you are fighting for would still feel worth fighting for if you knew you’d never see it realized. If your hope is driven by principles such as justice, solidarity with your fellow human, and your sense of goodness, you act because you feel you must.”
Whew… that is a lot of stuff… go easy. Maybe save this newsletter for times you feel the need to rest. Or pull it out when you feel energized to act. I respect that you know what is best for you.
💫💫💫If you enjoy r.w.e. will you kindly pause to hit the ❤️ at the top left or bottom of this post? It sure does help in the substack scheme of things and gives me a lift! xoNatalie 💫💫💫
eat:
Hey friends, we’re going to need dinner if we’re to make it through. I promise you, this soup will nourish you so BIG, and take just a little bit of your time!
Curried Lentil, Tomato, and Coconut Soup
2T coconut oil or sunflower oil or avocado oil
1 onion, finely chopped
1T cumin
1t turmeric
1t coriander
¼ t crushed red pepper flakes
2 garlic cloves, crushed
2-inch piece of ginger, peeled and finely chopped
¾ c red lentils, rinsed and drained
1-14.5 oz can chopped tomatoes
1/2 c chopped cilantro - stems and leaves
2½ c water
salt and black pepper
1-13.5oz can full fat coconut milk
1-2 c shredded chicken breast meat pulled from a roasted chicken (Do yourself a favor and pick one up at your market. We are all tired and should embrace shortcuts.)
Put the oil into a medium saucepan and place over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook for 8 minutes, stirring frequently, until soft and caramelized. Add the dried spices, pepper flakes, garlic, and ginger and continue to sauté for 2 minutes, stirring continuously. Add the lentils, stir through for 1 minute, then add the tomatoes, cilantro, water, 1 tsp of salt, and a very generous grind of pepper.
Add the coconut milk to the soup.
Bring to a boil, then decrease the heat to medium and simmer gently for 25 minutes, until the lentils are soft but still holding their shape. If the soup needs thinning, add a little bit more water, about 1/4 cup.
Add the chicken meat.
Divide the soup among four bowls. Sprinkle with a few more cilantro leaves.
Serve the soup with lime wedges for a citrusy kick. Also, just saying, you should go ahead and double this recipe. We ate it with glee for 3 days in a row.
Here’s Stanley, enjoying life. Eating his apple.
If you'd like to buy my books, you can do so here and here. To support the newsletter, please comment, hit the LIKE button; share my work with your funny and fun friends! Use the button right here.
Tell your people you love them, and take good care of your skin.