how to guest

spilling the tea on my bad-guest self + a remedy for social gaffes + a thank you song

Photo by Jack Gardner on Unsplash

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The NYTs recently opined on how to be a good guest. I have thoughts.

You received an invitation to a dinner party! Yay! Now, here’s how to be a joy to host:

1. Thank your host for thinking of you, for including you, and while you're at it… What may I bring? Always a good question! (Of course you know this.) My mother famously said, “Knock with your elbows.” Her admonition to arrive bearing gifts.

2. When you’re asked to contribute, please make it special. Assigned a salad? Perhaps check out Emily Nunn’s excellent Department of Salad for inspiration. Need to make a dessert? I’ve got you here, here, and here. If you don’t cook, no big deal, find a great bakery or specialty spot to pick up something other than a bag of flaming hot Cheetos! (True story… )

3. On the day of, please don’t cancel because you aren’t in a good mood. Your host has planned a lovely evening, shopped, cooked. Chew a CBD gummy, take a walk, take a bath, rally! Of course if you’re too ill to attend please don’t come!

1. Bring a host gift. Best gift? A bottle of good olive oil. The host will appreciate and feel no pressure to serve it up. Next best? Flowers, but already made into an arrangement so all the host must do is slide them into a vase.

2. Make the toast and look people in the eye when you do it!

3. Complement! The flowers, the food, the music, the conversation, the dog!

4. Dear god, PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY. (Oh, did I yell that? So sorry.)

5. Don’t hog the mic. Even if you just know your hot take is the BEST, let other people speak. And, for gods sake, ask open ended questions!
   

   1. What movie do you love that everyone else hates?

   2. What’s inspiring you right now?

   3. If you could live anywhere for one year, where would you choose?

   4. Irrational fear?