I had tried to be proactive with my mom (before she became too fragile and confused to make healthy decisions) while she kept putting it off, but, then, it was too late. Sadly, our family and caretakers are then without power, when indeed, giving power to those who have dimensia is, well, crazy. My mother, very oxygen deprived and much of the time confused but an amazing teacher and actress, about 12 hours before she passed, called a family meeting, (she had gone straight from the hospital to rehab because she refused assisted living) even with discharging Doctors agreement she should, my mother informed ALL OF us of her rights, as she knew the date and her name. Blessedly, she passed early the next morning, or, she might have had her wishes honored and returned home to a very unsafe and totally unaffordable situation. It split our family apart. I never want to put anyone in that position because of my rallying or control, that just because I may have rights, I may not be able to carry them out. I understand we don't like to attend to these things proactively and financially with an attorney, but.....look at the fallout and consequences we see every day. We can do it differently for ourselves before the fact.
Long distance caregiving...especially when your loved one can be unreliable, add a three ring circus of he said, she said, and then the stubborness, too much, too much. I understand, and I am sorry. It is a very hard thing to try to manage. Kiss your hand and say, there, there, love. Question: Does mom have to agree to a move closer to you in her condition???
I'm just now reading this and empathizing so hard. My mom fell and smashed her face twice, and it was hard enough even with appropriate treatment and a sound mind. Holding you and Ellen in my thoughts as you navigate this latest setback.
I donāt know why I feel better reading about your mother and the whole situation. I think I feel seen. I am full of gratitude for your work and words. Also I can not wait for that book of essays about this experience. I am putting lots of energy out in the world for it to manifest! :)
I had tried to be proactive with my mom (before she became too fragile and confused to make healthy decisions) while she kept putting it off, but, then, it was too late. Sadly, our family and caretakers are then without power, when indeed, giving power to those who have dimensia is, well, crazy. My mother, very oxygen deprived and much of the time confused but an amazing teacher and actress, about 12 hours before she passed, called a family meeting, (she had gone straight from the hospital to rehab because she refused assisted living) even with discharging Doctors agreement she should, my mother informed ALL OF us of her rights, as she knew the date and her name. Blessedly, she passed early the next morning, or, she might have had her wishes honored and returned home to a very unsafe and totally unaffordable situation. It split our family apart. I never want to put anyone in that position because of my rallying or control, that just because I may have rights, I may not be able to carry them out. I understand we don't like to attend to these things proactively and financially with an attorney, but.....look at the fallout and consequences we see every day. We can do it differently for ourselves before the fact.
Sounds so hard. Iām so sorry š and yes to making different choices for our children.
Long distance caregiving...especially when your loved one can be unreliable, add a three ring circus of he said, she said, and then the stubborness, too much, too much. I understand, and I am sorry. It is a very hard thing to try to manage. Kiss your hand and say, there, there, love. Question: Does mom have to agree to a move closer to you in her condition???
You must feel like Sisyphus some days (all days) trying to care for your mom... Maybe your mom is the rock. So sorry you are going through this.
I'm just now reading this and empathizing so hard. My mom fell and smashed her face twice, and it was hard enough even with appropriate treatment and a sound mind. Holding you and Ellen in my thoughts as you navigate this latest setback.
Thank you. I hope your mom is okay. xN
Thinking of you during these oh so difficult times. I understand the stress after caring for my Mom and send you love and peaceful thoughts. š©·
I donāt know why I feel better reading about your mother and the whole situation. I think I feel seen. I am full of gratitude for your work and words. Also I can not wait for that book of essays about this experience. I am putting lots of energy out in the world for it to manifest! :)
Iām glad you feel better! I feel better knowing you feel better! Win/win. Keep up the manifesting! š
Oh no, what a terrible thing to have happened. What's the latest?
I don't know! I'm headed to see her tomorrow... stay tuned... hold a place for me in your heart! š³š«£š Striving for courage!
I will! Oof, Iām so so sorry.
Merci! And mercy! I give already! Uncle!
Oh god Natalie Iām so sorry!!! This is not how you want it to go. š
So so crummy! š³