delightful or depressing? no wrong answer
whether you celebrate or ignore, A Mother's Day post full of treats for you...
Hey ho!
Of course I made gifts for my mother in elementary school, who didn’t? Two I distinctly remember? First, a clay ashtray because nothing says “Mommy, I appreciate you!” quite like a lumpy place to rest your smoldering cigarette.
Nothing except perhaps a fake flower that is actually a toilet bowl cleaner! Yes. In 1969 we industrious first graders attached a knot of spongy blue material to the top of a green wand. If you squinted hard it looked a bit like a carnation, but it was no flower. I wonder now if this was some passive aggressive act by my teacher who perhaps hated her mother?
Whether you’re being feted, ignoring the day, or celebrating the ways in which you mothered yourself through rocky times, here’s a quick list of wonderful things!
read:
At the Bottom of the River, by Jamaica Kincaid: A slim collection of short stories set in the Caribbean about the complicated connections between mothers and daughters. You can see Kincaid reading her story “Girl” here.
The Color of Water: A Black Man’s Tribute to His White Mother, by James McBride: The nonfiction story of a white woman struggling against poverty and racism to raise her twelve black children. I’ve read this twice and loved it!
My Name Is Lucy Barton, by Elizabeth Strout: When Lucy is recovering from an operation her mother, who she hasn’t seen in years, comes and spends five days with her in the hospital room.
watch:
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022): At its heart, this is a story about a daughter desperately seeking a connection with her mother. Michelle Yeoh stars as Evelyn Wang, a Chinese-American immigrant and laundromat owner whose world is turned upside down when the multiverse cracks open. Meanwhile, Stephanie Hsu plays Joy, Evelyn’s queer and depressed daughter, whose interdimensional counterpart is responsible for splintering the universe. And, value add? Jamie Lee Curtis is a force!
Lady Bird (2017) Mothers and daughters yearn for acceptance and affection almost as fiercely as they dream of murdering each other. In Greta Gerwig’s Oscar-nominated, semi-autobiographical directorial debut, this balancing act is brilliantly portrayed by Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf. The opening scene slays me!
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) Who doesn’t love Francis McDormand? She is fierce in this film! If you want something done, put it on a billboard. The something in the case of this film is solving a murder, and the it is one mother’s attempt to nudge-humiliate-harass the local police force into finding her daughter’s killer. Biting and brutal, Frances McDormand earns her Oscar with this one.
treat yourself 🎁:
If you’re in the mood for extravagance, want to really treat yourself (or just to dream) why not a bit of bling? My amazing and creative friend Suzanne Felsen designs gorgeous jewelry, but I mostly love her rings.
Same with Jamie Joseph. I bought this ring for myself for Mother’s Day about 10 years ago. I know! Why not remind ourselves how much we admire… well us! Seriously, someone’s got to do it!
If you’re in need of a travel bag or a kick around town crossbody, check MZ Wallace. In the world of fancy bags, they are sort of reasonable? I love the bags as much as I love their origin story. “The bag we needed didn’t exist, so we created it.” Two women, friends, built a sustainable company of wonderful, colorful designs.
Oh man, don’t even get me talking about my hair… aging is cruddy! Dry, brittle, thinning… it depresses me. I swear by Davines hair products. Especially these little pouches. A small good thing to travel with, to put in Christmas stockings, and to slather on your head, take a long steamy bath with a good book. Maybe lock the bathroom door!
eat:
My family has been making this for Mother’s Day brunch for twenty-one years. Remember the radio show, The Splendid Table, with Lynne Rossetto Kasper? That’s where we got it!
I suggest you let someone make this for you!
I’m afraid that’s all I have. I just want you to know that I feel you if MD is a hard day. Over the years I’ve had all the feels on this day. Joy and heartbreak. Honestly, I just wish it would go away… so performative! But/and, I’m always happy to get together with family and chosen family, just to share a little love. Stanley feels the same!! Here we are in my favorite spot in the world!
Take good care! Be gentle with yourself. And, finally, here’s another gift idea, for you or someone you love! If you want to support my work I’d be mighty grateful.
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Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!