"cleaning up humanity's parking lot..."
(un)inspiring commencement speeches + a writing prompt ++ Carpe Diem--the smoothie!
Iâm resending this newsletter with a couple updates. Just in case you missed from last year. Happy Graduation!
Hey Hi Yo!
Lucky us! Our neighbor invited us to attend his high school graduation. Thereâs something so tender and vibrant about a massive group of teenagers taking this giant next-step in their lives. I could feel the pride and excitement, the relief, exhaustion, and yes, surprise (đđŒ parents, I see you trying to keep your kid on track), and mostly the tangible hopes for a happy, fulfilling life ahead.
The shining and energetic young people gave terrific speeches noting how covid shaped their early high school experiences, how hard it was to find community, but ultimately the class of 2025 felt incredibly connected by the trauma of isolation. They built a gazillion clubs, learned to eat lunch in a mask, were incredibly adaptable and extra kind to each other.
The adults (no offense teachers and administrators, I know you all have hard jobs and are dedicated) kind of phoned in their speeches or else they lifted them straight from chatgpt. There were bromides about learning, about resilience, about working hard, and the final wish/admonition/demand⊠âGo out and change the world.â
Sheesh⊠I donât know about you, but that last bit landed hard with me. Change the world is a tall order, and isnât that what we adults are supposed to be doing for our kids? I hope their young heads didnât feel heavier when those words were dropped. These kids are graduating in an uncertain time⊠politics in our country are a mess, weâve lost the thread of civility, AI threatens jobs, we face the existential threat of climate change, war, and harming the vulnerable is currently being institutionalized into our government.
I scanned the internet for some inspirational commencement addresses and here are some words that appealed to me:
About kindness:
âMy topic this morning is kindness. So please just shut up and listen⊠kindness isn't a weaknessâit is a very potent strength⊠Iâm pretty nice. I am generally pleasant, and I try not to be mean. I donât often break the law. I will laugh at your dumb jokes. I enjoy puppies and ice cream. I regularly smile at other people, and I took time out of my busy schedule to be with you here today. These are all indications that I am pretty nice, or nice enough. I embody a baseline human decency, which I believe should not be celebrated, but expected. Everyone should be at very least pretty nice. People helping people, no brainer.
Return your shopping cart in the parking lot. Someoneâs got to do it. Why not you? Better yet, return yours, and also return a stray cart that you didnât even use. That extra effort is next-level pretty kindness. An act like this will not only help others, but it will fill your heart and spread great joy throughout the parking lot. Humanityâs parking lot. And remember to wash your hands, because some gross person probably touched that cart before you.â Steve Carrell at Northwestern University, 2026
About first jobs:
ââŠtry to do something that people will ask you about for the rest of your life. What was it like to work on a fishing boat off of Maine? What was it like to teach at a nursery school for the children of Mexican farmworkers? Youâre graduating into an uncertain time. You might as well get a masterâs degree in handling uncertainty.â David Brooks, from The Atlantic
About regrets:
âWhat I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly. Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth? Those who were kindest to you, I bet. Itâs a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but Iâd say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.â George Saunders at Syracuse University in 2013
About self-love and acceptance:
âMy mother thought I was not quite normal. She kept on saying things like, âWhatâs to become of Jennifer?â or âJust be normal, Jennifer.â I heard that so many times. And not being normal, that felt painful. And hearing about it in a Boston accent somehow made it worse. I stand before you, a weird person. Respect the need to be something very odd, not what is expected. Get to know yourself. Accept who you are, and love that person because this is the moment. You already are everything you need to be.â Jennifer Coolidge at Washington State University in 2024
About humanity in the time of AI:
âYou have something that no computer can ever have. Itâs a superpower, and every one of you has it in abundance. Your humanity⊠[your] human creativity and empathy⊠the lessons you communicate have a priceless authenticity, based on the simple fact that you are devoting your attention, intelligence, and consciousness to fellow homo sapiens. Can you say with me: I AM HUMAN.â Steven Levy at Temple University in 2025.
âŠ
I guess the thing I would want to say to young people facing the next thrilling phase of their lives âŠ
Life, it turns out, is really hard. You will have accomplishments, laughs, deep friendships, exciting travels, if youâre lucky someone who loves you and whom you love deeply will bring you coffee in bed, and youâll face challenges, experience setbacks and hardships, there will painful and disappointing loses.
As Ellen Bass says in her terrific and true poem Relax,
Bad things are going to happen.
Your tomatoes will grow a fungus
and your cat will get run over.
Someone will leave the bag with the ice cream
melting in the carâŠâŠYour parents will die.
No matter how many vitamins you take,
how much Pilates, youâll lose your keys,
your hair and your memory.
Please, please, as you move through your amazing life, know deeply and thoroughly that not every burden is yours to carry. Donât let anyone tell you that you must bulk up to carry a weight that doesnât belong to you. Be thoughtful and careful about which burdens you accept.
Maximize your joy! Prioritize your happiness!
Yes, life is beautiful and hard, and itâs also weirdly short! Highlight pleasure and light and raspberries. Again from Relax:
Oh taste how sweet and tart
the red juice is, how the tiny seeds
crunch between your teeth.
Now, get out there, eat a raspberry!
read:
And, If youâve never read, THIS IS WATER, by David Foster Wallace, his commencement address at Kenyon College, now you must. So inspiring!
Opportunities to engage in the r.w.e. community:
Mentor Book Groupâ in which we read memoirs, personal growth books and discuss what we might like to adopt in our own âwork-in-progressâ lives. THE CREATIVE ACT, A WAY OF BEING, by Rick Rubin, will be our May book, meeting on 31 May at 9a pacific time. Love to have you join us.
If youâd like to discuss books with me and a group of smart and lively readers, the r.w.e. book group selection for May is ACCIDENTAL DEVOTIONS, by Kelli Russell Agodon. And, best news of all? Kelli will be joining us! She is a bright light, loads of fizzy-good energy! We meet Sunday, 21 June, at 9a pacific time on zoom. Want to join in? The book group is a perk for paid subscribers. Iâd love to get to know you better.
The book group is a perk for paid subscribers and let me tell you, we are a lively bunch!
Go ahead, claim your spot. I hope to get to know you better!
I've made a read.write.eat. Bookshop where you will find many of the books I've recommended. Buying books from my shop is another way you can support my newsletter.
write:
Starting 24 June, I will be hosting five writing sessions. Do consider joining!
âŠ
Meanwhile hereâs a prompt from the great writer, Claire Dederer w/minor adjustments by me.
You need a timer and something to write with.
Five minutes--I want to write a memoir (or essay) about ... (List a number of ideas.)
Five minutes--Of the above ideas, the one that attracts me most right now is ... list why? What questions does it potentially answer? What do you want to say that can be explored with this idea?
Five minutes--List ten events/scenes or ideas or themes, in no particular order, that I certainly would want to cover in this memoir. Scenes that support and reveal what happened.
Five minutes--Take the most interesting thing on this list and write for five minutes, expanding upon the event. Write in present tense. include sensory details. Pay attention to the setting, the action, add dialogue. Do this three times. (Or do all ten if you like.)
This prompt helps you discover what really interests you, what your concerns are and what you might like to explore in the long form of a memoir.
âŠ
If youâre a little bit commitment-phobic and yet you enjoy hanging out with me every week, why not:
eat:
Commence your morning with this Carpe Diem Smoothie! Itâs so quick to make. It ticks all the boxes (calcium, caffeine, protein and whatever chia and flax bringâŠ) and itâs delicious.
3/4c milk of your choice, I use whole cow milk or oat, depending upon what is in my refrigerator
2-3 pitted dates, depending upon how sweet you like things
2T almond butter
2T whole milk plain yogurt
1/4 - 1/2c coffee
1 - 2t unsweetened cocoa
ice - lots
1 frozen banana
1T chia seeds
1T flax seeds
Dump it all in the blender and whirr until smooth.
Enjoy!
What would read.write.eat. be without little Stanley?
Thanks for joining me! If you'd like to buy my books, you can do so here and here.  If you'd like to support the newsletter, please share with your funny and fun friends with the buttons below, and go ahead, press the â€ïž.
Remember to tell your people you love them and take good care of your skin.Â
merci,
That poem! đ„čâ„ïžđ
OMG - i have had this recipe and never made it. Ran across it yesterday and decided to make it THIS morning - synchronicity! Delicious!