be (w)here(?) now
what next? I have some ideas... a special edition
hey-ho,
It feels as if the next four years will be like that Fishes episode from THE BEAR, when Jamie Lee Curtis has a breakdown and the family sits stunned and powerless around the table.
I spent much of yesterday sitting on the bottom while waves churned over my head, listening to this:
The election season has been a rough ride. The outcome breaks my heart. Luckily I had an essay class to teach, and, as always, writing with people, listening to their words, brings me to life. So does therapy, which is another thing I did yesterday.
When I experience bumps, both large and small, I get busy. Sure it’s a way of dissociating from the pain, but it’s also a way of chipping away at powerlessness. Some suggestions:
Look for the helpers. Whose voice do you want to lean into for solace and wisdom? For me: Michele Obama, Anne Lamott, Rebecca Solnitt, and Nick Cave.
Put non-profits on your payroll. I will be sending monthly funds to nonprofits that protect the vulnerable: ACLU, Planned Parenthood, Meals on Wheels, and NRDC.
Time for boots on the ground! Meaning, if you have time, volunteer. I’ve reached out to a food bank to spend time each week.
I’m canceling Amazon Prime. I know… don’t let the door hit you on the way out! Bezos is such a selfish ass. I canceled the Washington Post after he failed to endorse a candidate, which I know is misplaced rage. It’s Amazon that damages brick-and-mortar shops and treats their employees horribly. We all love the convenience of ordering light bulbs in the morning and having them at the front door in the afternoon, but I can walk to the hardware store.
Before checking the rest of the list, maybe hit the ❤️ button at the top left or bottom left of this newsletter? It means more to me than you know. xoNatalie
I’m putting myself in the path of ART! All of it. Movies in actual theaters, more plays, live music, comedy clubs, and heading to the museum.
When you’re heartbroken, one of the best things you can do is learn something new. I haven’t figured out what that will be for me. Certainly doubling down on my French.
Use your hands! I ordered a knitting project for the winter ahead. Good god, maybe everyone I know will have a new blanket by 2029!
I also canceled the NYTs Morning Newsletter and Evening Round Up. I canceled The Atlantic Monthly Newsletter as well. And, I’ve removed Instagram from my phone. I really want to curate what lands in my brain. What I’m keeping: Poetry Daily,
, , , The Red Hand Files, , Reasons to be Cheerful, and .We’re institutionalizing Game Night chez nous. I want to have an open door potluck on Sunday afternoons. Neighbors, friends, come over with a casserole, a salad, a dessert and a game. We need each other!
Get a puppy?
It’s a gorgeous fall day here in Portland.
We’ve got work ahead of us. What are you going to do today?
Love this bright spot of sunshine in your mailbox? Up your subscription to paid.
read:
Here’s my latest RANDOM SELECTION for a list of short books by women to see you through a rough day.
I pulled TRAVELING MERCIES, by Anne Lamott, off my shelf. I’m not a religious person, but I do consider myself a spiritual person with a smidge of cynicism. I like Lamott’s humor, her curiosity, and her truth telling.
Here she tells a story about being on the precipice of despair and love. Her friends invite her to a movie:
I sat there in the dark waiting for the movie to begin, staring at the blank screen. From time to time I tugged on the skin of my upper eyelid, which I can now pull out about two inches, like one of those old roll-up shades. I ate a four ounce KitKat in an attempt to console myself…And then the movie began.
Those faces: the gypsies are all born old. The men are achingly homely, as if cars have ridden over their faces. The young girls are beautiful beyond words, and the oldest women dance. But the middle-aged mothers look just like me and my friends tired, baggy, in some need of repair.
Their faces are exhausted from all that it takes to raise children on the tightrope of gypsy life. When you’re on the high wire, you have to use every ounce of grace and skill and awareness and loyalty you can muster just to get to the other side. But that's the gift, to have to use that kind of attention and focus, and it shows up around your eyes.
Honestly, I found the book a great solace. What are you reading?
Our zoom r.w.e. book group will discuss THE WIFE, by Meg Wolitzer, on 17 November at 9:30a pacific time.
The book group is a perk for paid subscribers and let me tell you we are a lively bunch!
Go ahead, upgrade to paid and claim your spot. I hope to get to know you better!
Check my read.write.eat. Bookshop Store, where you will find many of the books I've recommended in the newsletter. Buying books from my shop is a way you can be a friend to the newsletter.
write :
Boy, do we all know a little about yearnings challenged and thwarted!
In every chapter, in every scene, your characters should have large and small goals. Sure your book has thematic goals overarching the entire project. And, each section should have smaller goals with obstacles. As scenes end, the goals may be reached, they may be abandoned, they may be thwarted, but the reader will have the satisfaction of one goal seen through to its end. Meanwhile the overarching goal: finding peace with the mother, leaving the bad marriage, discovering the strength to tell the truth, healing, finding love… whatever it is, keeps humming along to the end. I visualize this as a bunch of tiny umbrellas beneath one large plot umbrella.
Here’s a great talk from Charles Baxter on plot. Features of plot he commends:
Captain Happen
One Way Gates
Snowball plots
Ticking clocks
Crowding your characters
Request Moments
Secrets
Remember the prompts live in P.S. section of the newsletter as a bonus for PS‘s (paid subscribers… see how I did that?)
eat:
Sad Soup! Why is it sad soup? Because it is easy to make, gentle on the taste buds, and those noodles just lie around in the broth.