a (sheet mask) holiday from worst case scenario thinking!
+ a book I was prepared to dislike ++ a delicious-no-fail burger you must make this weekend! +++ join me for the best summer school writing class
Hey ho!
The dentist told me I had a weird growth/thing on the roof of my mouth. “Come back in two weeks and if it’s still there I’ll send you for a biopsy.”
I absolutely hate that word.
How did I spend my two weeks? By trying to develop a new superpower. No, not catastrophic thinking, I already excel at that. I am fantastic at lying awake at 3 a.m.— the leftover cortisol hour, the hour of dread, the grief hour, the hour you catalogue all your faults, the zombie hour of horrible imaginings. Oh, I thought in the dark, I may have a cruddy year of treatment, followed by a slow death. I imagined my funeral, a eulogy or two, who would miss me and who I would miss (well, everyone!).
The new superpower I tried to develop was compartmentalization. My therapist calls it culling experiences, putting some on a low shelf to deal with later. And, that’s what I did. I put the worry on a low shelf and put sheet masks on my face! I baked a flan, trellised a rose bush, read books, walked and walked, knitted and knitted! I read the work of my amazing clients, taught, cuddled with Stanley and my husband, and I surprised myself by dissociating from the fear during daylight hours. Is that growth? I’m calling it growth!
This week the dentist said, “Isn’t it terribly awful how much overlap there is between mouth trauma and oral cancer?” Which I do not have. I had mere mouth trauma caused by very crusty bread 🥖. Enough to make me consider going gluten free.
read:
For nearly a year I’ve been drawn to Dolly Alderton’s novel, GOOD MATERIAL, because of the Mondrian-esque cover.
And, because it was the cover that tempted me, I resisted. I know, what a dolt! I thought “I’m too sophisticated” to be drawn in by mere looks. I thought I would hate it. I must say, when I finally dove in, listening to the novel in a rush, I was all in for this story of Andy, a man devastated by a break-up, on a downward spiral. His career as a comic is floundering, he now has no home, all his friends are married with children and unavailable for a hang. As the heartbroken often do, he engages in ridiculous and funny attempts to get back with his girlfriend. (He creates a fake persona to a new therapist! He stalks his ex on the socials then moves to a houseboat… as one does I guess!) The dialogue is snappy, the friendships feel real, and the pushback on gender roles is refreshing.
Two things in this funny novel deeply moved me.
One was the breakup advice that came from Andy’s mother.
“You don’t let go once. That’s your first mistake. You say goodbye over a lifetime. You might not have thought about her for ten years then you hear a song, or you walk past somewhere you once went together. Something will come to the surface that you’ve totally forgotten about. And you say another goodbye. You have to be prepared to let go, and let go, and let go, a thousand times.”
Hand me the tissues!
Next was the surprise (to me) at the end, when the POV shifted to Jen, Andy’s ex-girlfriend, and we learn from her the sorrow she felt at ending the relationship, the ridiculous things she did to soothe herself, and of her yearning for a different type of life. It turns out we all do wacky things to undo our pain.
Please, snag this novel for a great escape over the long weekend!
Did you know we have zoom r.w.e. book group? Our June selection is HER FIRST AMERICAN, by Lore Segal, which I discovered as a recommendation from both Emma Straub and Ann Patchett. I’m excited to dive in. We meet on 22 June @ 9:30a PDT.
The book group is a perk for paid subscribers and let me tell you, we are a lively bunch!
Go ahead, upgrade to paid and claim your spot. I hope to get to know you better!
write:
Join us for the best kind of summer school!
More details here! Snag your spot here!
eat:
My husband landed on this delicious recipe for smash burgers in the midst of the pandemic and remarkably we still want to eat them! We have zero bad associations to the other-worldliness of lockdown. In fact, we plan on making them over the long weekend.
Chicken Smash Burgers
½ c mayonnaise, Duke’s is best
1 T plus 1 t Dijon mustard (I prefer this)
Kosher salt and black pepper
2 limes - 1 juiced (about 2 T) and 1 cut into wedges
1¼ c flat-leaf parsley, leaves and tender stems, rough chop
⅓ c grated Cheddar + ¼ c cubed+ 8 slices for topping (I love this!)
1 sm shallot, minced
3 lg garlic cloves, minced
1 t ground cumin
½ t red-pepper flakes
1 lb ground chicken, dark meat
2 T neutral oil, canola oil, or I sometimes use avocado oil
3 T olive oil
1 lge head butter or Boston lettuce, leaves torn into bite-size pieces
1 ripe Hass avocado, diced
4 brioche or burger buns, lightly toasted (please, go for the brioche!)
In a small serving bowl, combine the mayo with 1 T mustard. Season to taste with salt and the juice of 1 lime wedge.
In a medium bowl, thoroughly combine 1 cup parsley with the grated cheese, shallot, garlic, cumin and red-pepper flakes. Stir in 1T of the Dijon/mayo mix, 1t salt and ¼t pepper. Add the chicken and gently combine. Form into 4 large, round balls.
Heat a 12-inch cast-iron skillet over medium-high until very hot, 1½ to 2 minutes. We always place our skillet on the grill outside. Add the neutral oil and then add the chicken meatballs, space them out in the pan. Use a metal spatula to press them until they form ½-inch thin patties. Cook without moving for 3 to 4 minutes. You want a deep golden crust on the bottom. Flip them with a sturdy spatula and cook about 3 minutes more, until cooked through with a nice crust on both sides. A minute or two before they’re done, set 2 slices of Cheddar cheese on top of each patty to melt.
While your burgers are busy becoming delicious, in the bottom of a serving bowl, mix the 2 T lime juice with the remaining 1 t mustard; whisk in the olive oil until smooth and season with salt and pepper. Add the torn lettuce leaves, avocado, remaining parsley and cubed Cheddar, toss to coat everything with the dressing.
Place each burger on its bun bed, slather with Dijon mayonnaise, and top with a little of the greens and avocado from the salad. Serve with more salad, plus the lime wedges and any remaining Dijon mayo on the side.
I always serve with a cucumber salad alongside. I hope you love these!
Stanley sends you love and good wishes!
Take good care! Be gentle with yourself. And, if you want to support my work I’d be mighty grateful.
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Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!