what don't you like about your face?
on asking different questions and treating yourself like a precious object
Hi Hi-
“What don’t you like about your face?”
The question from an esthetician in Portland momentarily took me aback until I remembered that woman are expected to not like something (many things?) about their face. And, believe me, I had answers at the ready!
I went to an esthetician here in Aix en Provence she began by saying, “Tell me about your skin.” I was happy to oblige. Tired. No longer resilient. Clogged. She nodded as if she could relate, but mind you, Aurelie’s skin was none of the above.
Mais Madame, vous avez une belle peau.
I thanked her for noticing my good skin and then she revealed that she is not an esthetician but a facial masseuse. In describing what she would do, she gestured in the air as if pulling taffy, hammering a pretend tom-tom, changing a diaper. These were all the things she would do to my face to improve circulation, provide lymphatic drainage, and wake up my skin. At least that is what I think she said as she was speaking French and I was doing my best to understand.
Friends, I hopped on the table immédiatement!
She slathered oil, used warm towels, and delicate brushes. Yes, she hammered and pulled and encouraged drainage. She tapped, drew soft circles around my eyes with her fingertips, she gently turned my head from side to side, setting my cheek on a warm pillow. Though I fell asleep, apparently my facial muscles woke up. She gave me peau tendu (taut skin). All I know… it was wonderful. I fell a little bit in love.
It’s what I do. I become so tenderized when someone treats me/my body with kindness and care! Masseuse, therapist, esthetician, stylist… I’m a sap and after treatments I want to hug them all!
In France that kind of enthusiasm is not regular, but what the heck, I had to be me. My face opened up. I threw my arms around Aurelie.
Walking home in the rain, the full moon rising over the buildings, I felt… very alive. Happy to be me in this moment, liking everything about my face.
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I also accompanied my friend to a petit make-up lesson. Why not? We’re in France! When we arrived, the La Dame Maquillage (henceforth the LDM) locked the door and put up a ‘gone fishing’ sign so we would not be disturbed. In the rear of the shop my friend arrayed her make-up on a table and LDM handed her two pieces of cotton gauze with dollops of gentle skin cleanser. As one does, my friend began swiping at her skin, scrubbing and cleaning, LDM was aghast! Non! She took the gauze and demonstrated very gentle upward strokes. “Avec soin!” with care, she said. There were many other tips and tricks, like where to apply highlighter, how to brighten one’s eyes, the need to stretch your lips over your teeth before you apply lip liner… most of it was above my pay grade as I’m basically returned to being an eleven year old at Thrifty Drugstore when it comes to make-up. I know nothing. Blue mascara? Why not!
But, the message to treat one’s face with love, that stuck with me. And, my friend looked even more beautiful after the lesson than before, if you can imagine.
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It’s not just the women who need to step up the positive self-treatment. When my husband Joel went for a beard trim in Collioure, he was tilted back in the barber chair, hot towels turbaned around his face. The barber used a straight edge, trimmed earlobe hair and eyebrows, and then got to la barbe. He shaved Joel’s neck and the fuzz on his cheekbones. After, he slapped some invigorating product, sharp citron with a sting, on Joel’s face. When Joel stood to leave, the barber raised his hands and directed Joel to a café table outside the shop. Joel was to pause a moment, enjoy an espresso delivered by the barber, take the air, appreciate. The whole enterprise of a beard trim and a break in the day? 6€.
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In THE ARTIST’S WAY, Julia Cameron talks of the need to treat ourselves as precious when we’re trying to wake up our creative selves.
Remember, treating yourself like a precious object will make you strong…. what is in order here is a great deal of gentleness and some behavior that makes you like yourself. Sending postcards is a great trick. Mail one to yourself that says, “You are doing great…” It’s very nice to get fan letters from ourselves.
Or, you could take it a step further and give yourself this little office plaque, which adorns my desk at home.
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And now, a tiny parting gift! This is the very best dry skin oil. It’s available at the French Pharmacy, but also here. I’m just saying… it rolls on beautifully. Does not feel greasy. It smoothes dry skin, frizzy hair, and frazzled cuticles, all while wafting a lovely fragrance — orange blossom, magnolia, and vanilla notes. It feels like France! I plan on giving over a lot of luggage real-estate to this product when we return home.
Thanks for reading. If you missed some jewels… no fear! Here are a few: a book. cookies. cake. friendship. coffee cups. boobs. doors. And, you can find them all here!
To stay in the loop and offer the kind gesture of supporting my work:
Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!
This is so sweet to read. I feel like I was there!!
I loved this. I'm not very kind to my skin and should do better. Now I want to come visit you in France so you can take me to LDM. And I think my husband wants to go to that barber shop.