I am a person who ____________!

walking through my days as my best future self + continuing spring discount

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AI free zone, button created by Beth Spencer, enhanced by me. Yes, 2 humans! Please, hit the share button. It matters in the substack world.

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Bonjour-Bonjour,

I was listening to Trevor Noah’s podcast, WHAT NOW?, yes he’s funny, but who knew he’s also dipping his toe into the self-helpy, improve-your-life conversations that I happily fall prey to! First I listened to a long convo with Arthur C Brooks, the guy who writes the How To Build a Better Life, column at the Atlantic, and who wrote, BUILD THE LIFE YOU WANT.

In their discussion I learned that I am a mad scientist. (Maybe you suspected this of me?) All of us have different levels of positive and negative affect, which means we all respond differently to stimulus in our world.

If we understand how we are affected by all the goings on, we can perhaps begin to alter our response in a way that lifts us up. For example, moi. When bad shit happens (both small and large) I feel it… bigly. The question then is how can I help myself to manage the emotional wallop I get from negative events? Well, by doing things that lift me up, like getting outside and looking at panoramic views rather than the tunnel vision of staring at my computer screen. (Hello, walks in the park, by the sea, along the river.) By loving up Stanley. By cooking, by moving my body, music… all the things. We each have tools to manage our emotional state and, as Brooks says,

“…to be a more effective, happier person that can lift other people up more effectively, which is a beautiful thing. And so, what are two great ways to treat negative effect? Get more deeply in your spiritual life, hugely effective….and, Run around and pick up heavy things.”

Exercise and spirituality… whether that means meditation, yoga, being in nature, working at a food bank, or religion… whatever suits you.

Which pos/neg response best describes you?

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Okay, then I listened to another of Trevor Noah’s shows, a woo neuroscientist, Emily McDonald who says that she runs her day, her choices, her actions by picturing her best future self and asking, “Would my best self, the person I want to be, do that?” For example she was addicted to vaping and she simply said to herself, “If I want to be my best self, to accomplish x,y,z… she is not a person who vapes.”

She visualizes herself moving through the world as the badass woman she wants to become. I am a person who ___________, and then she acts accordingly.

She also trains her brain by visualizing how she will handle difficult moments (slightly edited for clarity):

…what you’re doing when you visualize… you are training your brain to plan the reaction, plan the moment better. So that way when you actually are facing the situation in real life, your brain already knows the plan. But what happens when you are in it in real life and you haven’t done pre-visualizing, you haven’t even thought about it? Then there’s no plan and your brain acts based off of an old version of you, a past version of you. When you use the practiced version of you then you’re kind of free.

How does this land with you? Seriously, I want to know if you would use this tool to help navigate sticky situations?

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I am filled with delight when I share books, writing tips, and recipes with you. Judging from the lovely comments I receive, I believe readers are filled with delight as well.

Thank you all who support my work with a paid subscription. I heartily encourage more of you to hop on.

I have no paywall because exclusion feels cruddy to me. I withhold nothing! 🥳 So what do you get if you hop on as a paid subscriber, beside the warm feeling that comes with saying thank you?

• Paid subscribers can participate in our r.w.e. book groups. We meet one Sunday per month and we’re a lively bunch. Authors join as often as I can manage! We’ve had Heather Aimee O’Neill, Kelli Russell Agodon, Patrick Ryan joins us next month, and this summer Beth Ann Fennelly will spend a morning with us!

• Paid subscribers also get a discount when joining our bi-monthly writing circle:

a writing circle

I’m offering a 🎉 once a year 🎉subscription🎉 discount 🎉 as an enticement. Check it out. Good until April 15 (that notorisous day)!

Thank you in advance for sharing your love!

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Here’s Stanley, being his best future self!

I hope you walk through your day as your best future self!

If you missed the last few jewels… no fear! Here are a few everyone seemed to love: re: coffee cups. beans. boobs. doors. funny sayings.

To stay in the loop:

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Tell your people you love them, and take care of your skin!

merci!