fighting in France...
the strain of a car trip, seeking mentors, ++ a writer's advent calendar!
Hi Hi!
Nothing like a road trip to reveal the cracks in your marriage! Honestly, Joel and I have more tense words in a car than probably anywhere. He is a great driver in a foreign country and I am so lucky to never drive when we travel…but/and he is an anxious driver, slowing to a crawl to enter the roundabouts, twirling around multiple times to find the right exit, complaining about his seat, the nuance of the dashboard, the delicate response of the brake. And I am not excellent at getting the navigation from my phone to speak to the car system. We’ve got one voice telling us to tourner à droite, another voice saying to do the same in English, and then I too am making the announcement. Meanwhile, Stanley, who hates the car, is panting frantically as if he’s on his way to the veterinarian.
Like sand in an hourglass, patience dwindles. And friends, this road trip to beautiful villages in Provence was a mere 90 minutes! By the time we reached Roussillon, we (well let me be honest, just me) were ready to explore independently.
Thank goodness we didn’t. In the beautiful village of Roussillon we had a delightful lunch.
Joel soothed his nerves with un verre de vin rouge, and after, we made our way to Les Sentier des Ocres, a Unesco site. I am here to say, the balm of nature is a real thing.
The walk, the air, the path, the color… it was a sort of alchemy that relaxed and invigorated. We literally gasped as we entered a canyon. Soon we were holding hands. I have never been in a landscape like it. The cliffs made a sort of auditorium of ocre and light, the clay beneath our feet soft and welcoming. We experienced wonder. And so did the smattering of people around us. We struck up a conversation with an adorable young couple, who I am certain can drive together without arguing (!) and who volunteered to take our photo. We ended up laughing together, commenting on the swatch of the young man’s hair, dyed the same color as the clay, taking photos as if we were family, speaking together in baby French and baby English.
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Dear Readers, we did get back in our car to drive to the next village. And Dear Readers, it wasn’t completely tension free, but it was better.
…
Please, tell me about your road trip:
read:
Do you have a mentor? Have you ever had a mentor? I did in graduate school to be certain. I had wonderful writing teachers whose job it was to teach and inspire and model a way to be a writer in the world. And, I’ve self-selected mentors at different stages in my life to inspire me as to how to be a friend, mother, daughter, woman. (I’m trying this poll for the first time. Gosh I hope it works.)
The mentors that I self-selected didn’t know they were “mentoring” me. I very carefully watched and adopted behaviors that appealed to me. Perhaps it was the way a person listened and made people feel welcome. Perhaps it was the way the person took care of family without losing her own identity. Perhaps the way they appeared in the world, their generosity, how they remained curious.
And there have been times when I turned to books as my mentors. I’ve looked to books as opportunities for personal growth, inspiration.
Why am I asking you this? My curiosity was recently spurred by listening to Shonda Rhimes who spoke about turning to books for mentorship. About seeking inspiration from the personal stories of people who have overcome challenges to live a vibrant life, to do both average and extraordinary things with grace.
Why not take some lessons from books? …whether the author is a musician, a First Lady, a chef. We can take what we will from the books and cobble together what seems important to us right now.
I think I’d like to have a conversation on the regular. In 2026 I’d like to start a book group which leans hard on memoir, biography, essays, from people who are inadvertent mentors. Do you have any interest? (In case the polls don’t work, drop me line!)
Here are some books off the top of my head that might fit the bill. These selections are by no means written in stone, just a list to get you thinking. LMK your personal favs, or something you’ve been dying to read:
BREAD OF ANGELS, Patti Smith
FIRST COMES LOVE, Marion Winik
BLINK, Malcolm Gladwell
RAISING HARE, Chloe Dalton
THE CREATIVE ACT, A WAY OF BEING, Rick Rubin
BIRD BY BIRD, Anne Lamott
RADICAL ACCEPTANCE, Tara Brach
KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL, Anthony Bourdain
BECOMING, Michelle Obama
MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING, Viktor Frankl
…
Please, tell me your favorite inspiring book:
Meanwhile, don’t forget the r.w.e. book group. Our selection for December and January is THE LONELINESS OF SONJA AND SUNNY, by Kiran Desai. We are splitting the novel into two sessions because it’s long, and it’s the holidays. This is a no pressure group!
The book group is a perk for paid subscribers and let me tell you we are a lively bunch!
Go ahead, upgrade to paid and claim your spot. I hope to get to know you better!
I've made a read.write.eat. Bookshop where you will find many of the books I've recommended. Buying books from my shop is another way you can support my newsletter.
write:
This past year… honestly, a shit show. So much loss and worry and turmoil, personal and public (I was going to put a link here, but why? Why list the atrocities of war, and the current presidency, we all know.) Maybe, right now, just maybe we deserve a bit of hope.
…
Here in Aix-en-Provence it seems each petite shop has its own themed advent calendar. Are you in to tea? truffle salt? olive oil? maquillage? confiture? chocolate? les bonbons? Maybe you are into writing prompts?
For paid subscribers, I’m offering an advent calendar of Writing Prompts and maybe a smidge of wit and wisdom. Starting on 1 December and continuing through 1 January, you can receive a little note from me. It won’t be fancy, but it will be tasty!
If this sounds like a delightful perk, please do join in by becoming an annual paid subscriber!
eat:
On day two of our roadtrip, we made a stop for lunch in Saint-Rémy-de-Provence, and this is what I had: Butternut Squash Velouté w/Feta and Pumpkin Seeds.
Honestly I ordered it mostly because I love butternut squash, but also because I love hearing French people say “butternut.” Every time my French teacher says it she purses her lips and then sets free a delightful smile.
I want you to have the velouté as well. I’ve got a PDF of the recipe in the afterparty!
after-party🎉:
If you’re already a paid subscriber, Giant THANKS! And please, skip ahead.
Below the paywall you’ll find:
Butternut Squash Velouté w/Feta and Pumpkin Seeds.
Stanley 🧡.
And, if you’re not ready to hop on, please do give the ♥️ a tap, or leave a comment 💬, or share ↻ with a friend. It matters in the substack universe and in my heart!